


Fluorescent Dream, Stay Close To Me

by tasteofink



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: 300 Fox Way, Domestic Bliss, Engagement, Fluff, M/M, POV Multiple, Soft Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, a little OOC but what can you do, features a lot of kissing, just read it, life at the Barns is great, the gangsey, this is just really soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-11-13 22:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18040367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasteofink/pseuds/tasteofink
Summary: "Let's talk about the summer and how you wished it wouldn't end."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part one of a short & sweet little Pynch series. Self edited so mistakes are mine only!
> 
> This is ridiculously self indulgent, but also full of softness. Title is from "Bosque Verde" by Mat Kerekes and the quote is from "I Don't Mind" by Defeater. Thanks in advance for reading, I appreciate you♥
> 
> Next part will be up soon!

~~~

Henrietta’s hazy summer mornings were all too familiar.

There was a comfort in the way the sun shone off dew drops and turned the grass to green oceans. A calm in the pale yellow of the sun threatening to burn brighter as the day went on.

Adam stretched to get used to being awake again. He wore a stretched out, dark grey t-shirt that had someone else’s name written all over it’s torn hems and his hair was a mess from a combination of fingers running through it and heat where his head pressed against the pillow. Adam’s attempt at sitting up was quickly shot down by a half asleep Ronan, arm curled around Adam’s waist.

“Still early,” Ronan suggested, voice rough with sleep, soft at the edges with Adam.

“I like early.”

“I know that.”

“So join me or go back to sleep,” Adam said, smile in his voice.

Ronan looked up then, one eye hardly open, the other squished closed against his pillow.

“Early exists under the covers, you know.”

“I suppose it does.”

Adam let himself be pulled down. Ronan shut his eye, but kept his arm looped over Adam’s side. Adam traced his hand over the sharp angles of Ronan’s jaw and nose, lingered over the curve of Ronan’s lip long enough for Ronan to notice. He grabbed Adam’s hand in his own and pressed the palm of it to his mouth.

“Parrish,” Ronan whispered against Adam’s skin, breath warm, voice warmer.

Next to the bed, a sunflower only so beautiful because Ronan’s dreams allowed it to be, glowed softly. It was hard to see in the morning light, but both Adam and Ronan knew it did. It burned with Adam’s racing heart just as it did Ronan’s, wilted when they were too far apart, but never died. 

Adam shifted closer and watched as Ronan, eyes still closed, twined their fingers together. Like vines, reaching for the thing they needed to live, the thing they lived to love.

Ronan finally opened both eyes, but they were tinged red from lack of sleep and the lids of them were heavy. 

“Sleep,” Adam told him.

“Stop keeping me awake then.”

Adam smiled at that, came to rest with his head beside Ronan’s, cheeks pressed into pillows and palms pressed to each other’s. He simply watched as Ronan rested, but couldn’t stay still for long. When Ronan’s arm snaked out to hold him down again, Adam leaned in to assure him he’d be right back so Ronan let him go.

He returned quickly enough, paused in the doorway for a moment. Ronan let the covers slip off and expose his upper half and from here, Adam could see the expanse of his tattoo. 

It was far from the first time, but the image of it still left Adam a bit breathless. Especially against white sheets and blankets. Adam left a cup of juice and two pieces of buttered toast on Ronan’s bedside table before he bounded onto the bed, sitting cross legged beside his dreamer.

“Ro?”

“Hmph.”

“Do you plan on waking up at all today?”

“What’s the rush?”

“There isn’t any, I guess.”

“I think you just miss me,” Ronan said smugly.

“You’re right there, jackass.”

Ronan smiled now and Adam shook his head. Adam climbed on top of Ronan and felt Ronan sink beneath him with a sigh. Ronan knew what was coming, but that didn’t calm his heart any. Adam traced the twining black lines of Ronan’s tattoo with careful fingers, as gentle as the breeze outside. Adam followed ink mapped roads with kisses, soft pecks that felt like flower petals raining down from a dream tree and landing on Ronan’s skin.

Ronan felt like the tattoo came to life underneath Adam’s hands. Like the feathers of the creature rustled when Ronan became flustered by Adam’s touch or it braced itself when Adam’s mouth came to rest directly between Ronan’s shoulder blades.

Adam could never grow bored of this. Ronan’s warm skin underneath him, his mouth and hands able to explore as much as he pleased. He could never grow bored of it, but it never seemed to last long enough. Ronan rolled over underneath Adam, nearly knocked him off the bed in the process. Ronan reached for Adam and Adam stretched out his hand, let their fingers slide into place.

“You know, I think I like the other side of you better,” Adam said.

“You’re an asshole.”

Adam laughed and Ronan was reminded just why it was his favorite sound in the world, even his dreams incapable of creating something so perfect.

“You like it,” Adam shrugged.

Ronan didn’t disagree. Ronan’s smile stretched across his lips, but it dissipated quickly when he brought Adam’s hand to his mouth. Adam’s breath caught in his throat when he felt warm breath against his wrist and he watched Ronan unlink their hands so he could trace the lines of Adam’s palm, kiss the center of it, his fingertips, his knuckles.

Adam drew his hand away from Ronan’s as a chill ran through him. Adam leaned closer and Ronan cupped the side of his neck. Adam could feel the roughness of a callous on Ronan’s hand, a result of working outside here at the Barns, Adam thought. Ronan’s thumb brushed against Adam’s jaw and there was a spark between them, a burst of light from the sunflower, and then there was only them. Fire meeting ice, time stopping, the petals of a blossoming tree being swept clear away with one gust of wind. It was the sun rising on a lazy morning, it was a star bursting to life, it was a practiced touch that still stunned them both.

Adam was the first to pull away, but Ronan found this unacceptable. Ronan pushed Adam off of himself only to switch places with him, blanket tangled and hanging messily off the side of the bed. Adam laughed as he hit the mattress and Ronan pushed his borrowed t-shirt up with his nose, kissed skin he knew better than his own. The sensation must have tickled because Adam breathlessly giggled again and again until Ronan’s mouth met his and stifled the sound.

They kissed their mouths numb. Kissed till the sun’s nearly center point in the sky meant it was already around noon. Time was nothing in Ronan’s room, nor in his arms, nor in Adam’s. Time was up to their desirous mouths and hungry hands.

By the time they thought they might stop and leave Ronan’s bedroom, Adam was sure he’d have a hickey he couldn’t hide and Ronan was sure he’d need a cold shower before he started the day. Adam was also sure that he wasn’t quite ready to stop and Ronan was sure of the same. Adam interrupting to brush his teeth turned into a shared shower that was more kissing then bathing and Adam wondered out loud why on such a hot day they would shower so early. Ronan just kissed his shoulder. They took longer than necessary and dressed together afterwards, and in the middle of doing so, heard the door swing open downstairs.

“Honey, I’m home,” sang Gansey from downstairs.

“I regret giving him a key every day,” Ronan said against Adam’s neck.

Adam shook his head and kissed an apology for their stolen time onto Ronan’s lips. Ronan crouched in invitation for Adam to climb onto his back. It took a second to click, but Adam claimed his spot as soon as he realized, held tight while Ronan jogged down the steps to meet Gansey.

“Isn’t this an awfully adorable picture,” Gansey said with a smile.

Adam cocked his head. “Is it?”

“If I do say so myself.”

Ronan didn’t let Adam down right away and Adam was content to stay where he was. Gansey watched them as they moved as one, Adam’s hands clasped against Ronan’s chest, Ronan’s arms hooked underneath Adam’s legs.

“Hungry, Gansey?”

“Yes, actually. Cooking?”

Adam nodded, rested his cheek against Ronan’s head. Gansey used to feel like he was intruding when they were like this together. Now it felt like watching his mother and father kiss at the kitchen table over breakfast.

“You guys are unbearable.”

“You invited yourself,” Ronan said, not the slightest bit of heat behind his words. “I think you’re just bitter because Blue’s not here.”

“Give me a break.”

“Just a couple of more days,” Adam reassured him, knowing Gansey really did miss her like he was missing a physical part of himself.

“What time do you leave for your parents’?” 

“Whenever. Think I’ll head out straight from here.”

Gansey was going to visit his family for the weekend. Blue would be returning from a trip early next week so Gansey figured this weekend would be the best to spend with his family so that all the time after could go to Blue and the boys. Gansey told Adam and Ronan as much and they’d made kissy faces at him. Ronan even pinched his cheek. Three years after graduating from Aglionby clearly didn’t mature them much in that department.

“Text when you get there,” Adam said, sliding down from his perch.

“Adam,” Gansey exclaimed, causing Adam’s eyes to go wide. “You can walk again!”

Adam narrowed his eyes and shoved at Gansey. Ronan laughed. Adam closed his eyes and breathed in the sound like it gave his heart what it needed to keep pumping.

Ronan stayed in front of the stove to cook which meant Adam would stick around to clean up the mess and possibly cook something more edible and not blackened. He left Gansey and Ronan to argue about Ronan’s seasoning choices, choosing instead to check up on life outside their dream of a farmhouse. The Pig sat next to the BMW. It wouldn’t be if Ronan couldn’t have dreamt up a new one when the first replacement Camaro died at the end of Gansey’s gap year. The sun glared brightly off the metal of the two vehicles and when Adam turned to go back inside, he saw spots of different colors before he saw anything else.

Ronan’s and Gansey’s voices carried from the kitchen.

“Let me do it-”

“Gansey! Fuck off, I know what I’m doing.”

“Yes, that’s precisely why Adam does the cooking.”

Adam poked his head in with a pleasant smile. “You rang?”

“No, you eavesdropped,” Gansey playfully corrected, “but your help would be greatly appreciated.”

Adam tucked his arm around Ronan’s waist and peered at the food. Omelettes, Adam guessed, that were already terribly burned. 

“You can eat this one,” he said to Ronan.

“Fine,” Ronan said, displeasure eased by Adam’s presence, pride untouchable.

Gansey watched, equally unsurprised and amused at Ronan’s insistence. It was clear in his face that the burned egg was not satisfying and it was clear by the amount of food on the counter that Adam would make enough for everyone, Ronan included. He plated Gansey’s food first and Gansey thanked him. Adam stopped what he was doing for a moment to pull Ronan’s plate away.

“Hey! I was eating that.”

Adam looked from the barely touched omelette to Ronan who struggled to swallow another small forkful.

“Ok, Ronan.”

Ronan dropped his fork on the table and with his arms crossed sternly in front of him, he forced the food down his throat.

“I should have my own cooking show,” Ronan said with a toothy grin.

“Worst Cooks in America already exists,” Gansey told him, and then, “Thanks, Adam. This is delicious.”

Ronan shoved away from the table to stand at the stove with Adam. Gansey could hear Adam explaining to Ronan that he put the burner on too high and that he let one side cook for too long, things that Gansey thought should be obvious, but he didn’t comment. Instead, he finished his food and stole a yogurt cup of Blue’s from the fridge.

“I think I’ll head out. Don’t want to get stuck in traffic.”

Ronan looked up from his fresh plate of properly cooked food and held up a fist to bump against Gansey’s. Adam wiped his hands before curling hist fist to bid Gansey goodbye.

“Don’t forget to text,” Adam reminded him.

“I won’t. Don’t eat anything he cooks,” Gansey said, earning a flipped up middle finger from Ronan.

They watched Gansey go. The energy in the room dimmed just a little. Something about the three of them together charged the air differently, charged each other. They would miss each other for the weekend, but they spent much longer apart these days. Summer meant they spent most days if not all of them together in the woods, in their newer, safer Cabeswater, squeezed into a booth at Nino’s. It made it harder to say goodbye when first days of classes came around the corner, but they wouldn’t change their habits.

Adam ate leaning against the kitchen counter after Gansey’s car rattled away. Ronan stole a bite off Adam’s plate to which Adam scoffed and pulled his plate in the opposite direction.

“Rude.”

Ronan laughed and Adam did, too. Adam gave his dish to Ronan to wash and pulled himself onto the counter next to Ronan, kicked his leg against the cabinet door below him.

“What’s the plan for the rest of the day?”

“Take a dip? Go back upstairs?”

Ronan cut the water off and settled in between Adam’s legs, rested his hands on Adam’s thighs.

“Is that all I’m good for?”

Adam meant it jokingly, but Ronan frowned. Adam splayed his fingers against Ronan’s cheek, thumbed at his lip. The downward curve of his lips and the crease in his forehead told Adam everything he needed to know.

“Kidding, Lynch.”

Ronan nodded. Adam leaned in and Ronan closed the gap. Their lips caught for a moment, separated, then closed against one another’s. Ronan’s hands got lost in Adam’s hair. He’d let it grow more often than he cut it and it curled around his ears now, hung in soft tendrils that Ronan played with to help Adam fall asleep at night.

“What did you want to do?” Ronan asked, the gravel in his voice hinting clearly at his preferred answer.

“I have summer reading I need to work on.”

“Parrish.”

“I do! You saw the books I brought back with me.”

“Yes. The books you have nearly two months to read.”

“I won’t read all day. How about we go to the pool?”

The pool was in fact Ronan’s. Well, it belonged to all of them, Ronan guessed. He didn’t dream it for himself after all. He dreamt it to be a pool in the spring and summer, a pumpkin patch in the fall, a rink of ice in the winter. Right now it sparkled under the sun, an impossible shade of blue, as deep as Ronan wanted, never too warm or too cold.

Ronan nodded at Adam’s idea and Adam slid off the counter to grab one of the books from upstairs. He grabbed a couple of towels on the way and Ronan’s sunglasses and met him back downstairs. Adam piggy backed on Ronan as a means of getting to the pool- if it weren’t for the book, Ronan would have tossed him right in. Instead, he crouched a bit so Adam could easily drop down. Ronan flattened the towel Adam had retrieved from upstairs and Adam made himself comfortable on it. He peeled open the book and Ronan frowned at him, but let him be. Sweat already started to drip from the base of Ronan’s neck down his back, Adam’s too. He stripped his shirt off and didn’t hesitate to jump right into the water, immediately relieved.

Adam looked up from his book only for a second before he returned to his studies. He scribbled notes in the margins, flipped from one page to the next while Ronan swam laps from one end of the pool to the other. Adam fell into a lull, found himself reading the same page or paragraph a couple of times before he truly absorbed it and moved on. The heat was getting to him. He vowed to finish the current chapter, pleased with his progress.

Adam marked the book and stood up, shielded his eyes from the sun with a flattened hand.

“Finally coming in?”

Adam smiled at the sound of Ronan’s voice. He undressed down to boxers and jumped in, shook his head like a dog when he came to the surface.

“God, that feels good.”

Ronan smiled from just a few feet away. Adam paddled to him and splashed, latched on to keep Ronan from splashing back.

“I wish Blue and Gansey were here. We could play chicken.”

“As soon as they get back,” Ronan promised.

“Don’t you think they’ll be busy catching up?” Adam said with a suggestively raised eyebrow.

Ronan smirked. “Like we should be?”

Adam mirrored Ronan’s expression and then kissed him. Ronan locked his arms around Adam’s body and Adam could feel the twitch of his muscles with the slightest movement. They kissed till they needed to take a break to dip their heads in, escape the hot Virginia sun. Adam floated with his face to the sky, kicked softly to move through the water. He felt a bump against his ankle and then he was in the air, crashing back into the water with a splash seconds later.

“Fuck,” he gasped, eyes wide and mouth agape.

Ronan just laughed brightly, doubled over as he stood in the shallows. Adam shoved at him, but Ronan caught his hand, brought it to his mouth to kiss Adam’s knuckles.

“You are such an asshole,” Adam said, but his grin told a different story.

“Oh please, Parrish,” Ronan said, mouth curled so beautifully around Adam’s last name.

They messed with each other as the sun beat down on them, kissed in between, laughed too loudly. Adam stared up at the sky after Ronan knocked him under the surface. Clouds had crawled towards the sun, threatening rain from the looks of it.

“I think it’s gonna rain,” Adam said, laughter-sore and heat tired. 

Like it tended to on some summer days on the East coast, the weather underwent a fast, drastic transformation. The pale blue and yellow of the sky dulled to grey and thunder roiled in the distance. Ronan followed Adam to the shore and they got their things together. Adam dried his hands before he picked up his book, but it turned out to be a pointless precaution. He felt a drop soak through his hair, another on his shoulder, cool against his warm skin. He folded his towel around the book just as the rain picked up. Ronan didn’t bother to cover up since his shirt quickly became speckled with raindrops where it sat on the ground.

Adam’s hair plastered to his forehead as the drops fell faster and Ronan smiled as water dripped over his lips. Ronan pulled Adam against him and Adam forgot about the book, about the towel that was most likely soaked through to crimp the pages. There was only rain and Ronan, two storms that Adam felt overtake him through to his bones.

Ronan kissed Adam so warmly, it made Adam’s heart beat funny. Like it was thrumming along to an obnoxious tune Adam would have heard in Ronan’s BMW. Adam clung to him and his fingers slipped over rain slicked shoulders. The rain poured heavier and when they broke apart, Adam had to blink fast otherwise drops clouded his vision. He grabbed the towel and the book inside while Ronan got their clothes and they ran through the field hand in hand, kicking up mud, nearly slipping in puddles.

When they busted through the door to their secluded part of the property, they laughed and left a mess by the door.

“Holy fuck,” Ronan said, peering out the window.

Adam was breathless from their run, from so many laughs and kisses. He unfolded the towel to reveal his ruined book. Not as bad as he thought, but the pages would surely crinkle and some of his notes were probably washed to smudgy remains. Muddy footprints stained the floor and water dripped off their persons to soak the floor further.

“We should clean this up,” Adam said, but he saw how Ronan looked at him.

“Later.”

“Ok,” Adam replied agreeably.

In a breath, Adam was against the wall and Ronan’s body was keeping him there. It was sloppy at first, hungry, fast the way the storm came in, and then it was slow. It was Adam leading Ronan to their room upstairs and Adam climbing onto Ronan’s lap after he pushed him gently onto the bed. It was no sound but the rain on the windows and not caring about the footprints on the floor or wet fabric clinging uncomfortably to their legs.

It was forgetting that there was no shirt to remove and Ronan laughing into Adam’s neck, cheeks red with embarrassment. Adam kissed Ronan’s smile away, let it melt against his mouth. Adam felt the chill of damp skin with nothing to cover himself, but Ronan’s hands warmed him wherever they touched, like fire burned from his fingertips to thaw Adam. Adam pushed closer and Ronan welcomed it, hands spread against Adam’s back, head tilted up to keep their lips connected.

Adam’s hands came up to rest on Ronan’s chest and Ronan felt Adam’s palm right above his heart. He wondered if Adam knew the part he played there. He wondered if Adam knew that he made Ronan feel like a dream, not just the dreamer. Adam’s hand there was a sun, begging flowers in Ronan’s chest to blossom to life. The sunflower next to the bed seemed to breathe and open wider on an exhale. Its’ petals elongated and the yellow of them enriched to a bright gold when Adam kissed Ronan’s neck.

“Hey, Parrish,” Ronan said, unable to keep his voice as even as he’d hoped while Adam kissed his neck.

“Hm?” Adam hummed, lips still on skin.

“I just- can you-,” Ronan stumbled over his words. Adam smiled out of Ronan’s view and lifted his head, rested it against Ronan’s.

“Kiss you?”

“Yeah, fuck, what took you so long?” Ronan joked.

Adam did. He kissed Ronan like it was the only way he could survive. Like the breath in his lungs and the blood in his veins fed into him from Ronan’s kiss, like the world would crash and burn if there lips were to come apart.

Ronan felt like wings were sprouting from between his shoulders, like he would be swept away by them. He felt like the flowers that bloomed in his chest flooded his entire body in color, like Adam was picking off his petals saying _he loves me, he loves me not_ and Ronan was answering, _of course I love you, love you not I could never_.

The storm outside calmed as they did. The rain slowed down with the beating of their hearts, but they kept kissing. They kissed as the sun crept out for one last visit and bathed the Barns in a dark skied golden hour. Adam could see the room brighten through closed eyes and he opened them mid-kiss, broke away gently to admire the view. Ronan let his face fall into the crook of Adam’s neck, kissed Adam where his pulse beat underneath his skin.

“What are you staring at?” Ronan asked, though he knew the answer.

Golden hour was Adam’s favorite time of day. The color, the feeling, the magic of it.

“Parrish, I thought I asked you to kiss me.”

“I thought I found the words for you,” Adam replied pensively.

Ronan smiled against Adam’s mouth and Adam kissed the corner of his lips, his jaw that was starting to feel a little stubbly. Their mouths met and Adam let Ronan’s arms snake tighter around him. Ronan pulled Adam up against him and they fell backwards onto the mattress with a soft thud that left Ronan laughing underneath Adam’s weight. Adam caught himself with his hand flat behind Ronan and Ronan tilted his head to eye Adam’s wrist, his bare skin tanned from summer sun. Ronan traced a careful finger around Adam’s wrist and lifted his hand to interlock their fingers, marveled at the perfect fit, the feeling that this was right, this was everything.

“I want to give you something,” Ronan said.

“What’s something?” Adam said with that inescapable Henrietta drawl.

“I was gonna wait till the end of the summer, but I figure now’s as good as ever.”

Adam nodded. He watched Ronan tug and twist one of the leather bands around his wrist till it slid off and slipped it around Adam’s. It brushed against the heel of Adam’s palm, slightly too big for him, but he touched his fingers against it and felt his heart swell and burst and nearly break through his ribs.

“Ronan,” Adam said softly, a little sadly.

“Thought I should stake my claim.”

Adam rolled his eyes and did nothing to hide it. Ronan smiled and played with the bracelet. They both knew it meant much more than that, but Adam wouldn’t ask, and Ronan didn’t need to tell him.

“I love it,” Adam said. “Thank you.”

He wished there was more to say, but a kiss would have to suffice and it did. Ronan anchored Adam on top of him and they kissed like it was new, like they were learning the curves of each other’s mouths, the tastes of tongues for the first time.

The sky outside darkened and cast them in shadows, and the sky of stars Ronan dreamt to be his ceiling at night gave enough light for them to see each other. Adam lied with his head on Ronan’s chest and watched Ronan play with his hand. There was a pattern of twining fingers, pulling them apart, pressing fingertips to fingertips, following the lines of Adam’s palm.

Ronan broke the silence with a quiet call of Adam’s name. Adam looked up in acknowledgement, but kept his head against Ronan’s chest, right above his heart.

“You think about the future a lot, right?”

“Sure do.”

“Do you see me in it?”

“That’s a dumb question,” Adam said. “Of course I do.”

Ronan sighed relief. “Do you always see me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like if you think really far ahead… years down the line. Do you still see me? Us, do you see us.”

“I do,” Adam admitted, eyes turned up to gaze at Ronan.

Ronan shuddered at Adam’s reply. It was like he knew. Maybe he did. Maybe that would be his answer.

Ronan played with the leather tied neatly around Adam’s wrist. He thought about the next time he would slide some sort of band onto Adam’s person, he thought about a day just like this. He thought about the two of them, together since high school and only recently legal to drink. That didn’t matter though, not when Ronan always knew this is what he wanted, this is what he would always want.

“I get it if you feel like this is too much, but- Adam, what if we got married? Would you, I mean?” Will you?

Adam gazed longingly at Ronan and slid their hands into place, dragged his fingers over Ronan’s palm beforehand. Adam always planned. He thought everything through, he chose the way he paved, he tried not to act on impulse. But was it impulse when it’s the future that was sort of expected anyway? Was it impulse if that’s how it was always written, it was just a matter of when? 

“Sure I would. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Are you asking me to? Now, are you asking me to marry you?”

“I think I am. I wanna do it better another time, but yeah, I am. So that’s a yes, Parrish?”

Adam smiled. He sat up to straddle Ronan’s hips and Ronan pushed off the bed to meet him, bodies decidedly too far apart.

“That’s a yes, Lynch.”

Ronan’s fingers curled into Adam’s hair and Adam’s hands locked against the back of Ronan’s neck. Ronan kissed him again and again, wherever he could reach without pulling them apart. They kissed in ways that meant there was more to follow. They kissed promises of forever onto each other’s lips, necks, Adam’s hands, Ronan’s chest. They kissed to stifle noise and held hands too tightly, blurred the lines between whose body was whose. Their mouths crashed, their hands ignited fires anywhere they touched, and by the end of it, Adam slumped on top of Ronan, spent, warm, Ronan’s. He buried his face in Ronan’s neck and breathed him in, pulse slow as Ronan let his fingers dance up and down Adam’s back, counting vertebrae.

“ _Tu omnia_ ,” Ronan said, eyes heavy and hands slowed down against Adam’s back. 

The phrase stirred Adam. He stayed put with his limbs wrapped around Ronan, drew a line with his index finger from Ronan’s neck to his mouth and down his chest.

 _You are everything_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Something I've been meaning to tell you, about three years and a day. I'd very much like to get married."_

~

Everything seemed to go too quickly. It always did, especially after Cabeswater, but time only seemed to pick up speed once the Raven boys went their separate ways after graduation.

They were all thankful for the summers. It was the only time that was theirs as a group. College didn’t matter here. Age and experience and history didn’t matter here unless it was theirs as a collective.

Another year had gone by so quickly, another summer turned into “last”. Adam was done with his first four years of college. All that left him with was the weight of the world on his shoulders, sleepless nights, and questions about what to do next, if grad school was an affordable option.

“Adam, hear me out.”

“I’ve been hearing you out, Gansey.”

“Well keep it up, then. A gap year isn’t going to kill you.”

“You took yours before you started,” Adam argued. “This is different. This is stopping on the way, like I need a break.”

“Don’t you?”

Adam frowned and Gansey shook his head. They understood now that fighting was a part of friendship, as long as it was tame, fixable. As long as it was them.

“I don’t need you to baby me, Gansey.”

“I’m not! I just think it’ll be good for you. It will give you some time to work out a timeline for yourself, get everything in line.”

Adam knew that. He knew that Gansey wasn’t giving him terrible advice or being overbearing. He was being smart, helpful, persuasive. He was just being Gansey.

Adam’s prolonged silence worried Gansey. He dropped down next to him against the side of Gansey’s bed- same one from Monmouth, except now it was in a partial replica of the property dreamt onto the acres of the Barns.

“You’re right,” Adam said.

It had taken quite a while to learn that he could admit that, either to himself or out loud.

“I tend to be.”

“Shut up,” Adam smiled. “I just don’t want to ruin my chances. I don’t want any programs to see the year off like laziness or a break.”

“I get it, but it’s you we’re talking about. Adam Parrish. Near perfect grades from birth to now. Far too many jobs and extracurriculars to list. You’ll be fine.”

Adam nodded. He hoped he would be. Part of him knew he did need a break. He needed a summer that didn’t end, he needed life without a time limit just for a little while. He needed less alarms going off at ungodly hours of the morning and more sleep. 

“Have you talked to Ronan about any of it?”

“No. I didn’t want him to think I was driving myself insane over this because of him.”

“He’s a part of it, though, isn’t he?”

Smart. 

“He’s a part of everything.”

“Don’t get all romance novel on me, Adam.”

Adam smiled again. Gansey stood up and outstretched his hand to help Adam up, so Adam grabbed it. Gansey clapped a firm hand on Adam’s shoulder.

“Do what you need to do. Take care of yourself. I’ll have your back either way.”

“I know you will.”

“Alright then. Help me unpack.”

~

Dinner was at 300 Fox Way. The boys kept a promise of reuniting with Blue’s family at the end of every semester at least once. Gansey would come around more often of course, but that was a given.

Adam loved this house like it was his own. It was a messily perfect representation of family, blood or otherwise, always working together, sticking together. He still felt Persephone’s absence as everyone else probably did. Adam felt he would be forever indebted to her and wished she was here so he could thank her. Ronan knew when Adam disappeared from the table where he would find him. 

“-because of you. You helped me keep all this. Thank you, Persephone.”

Ronan felt like he’d walked in on a moment he shouldn’t be a part of. A floorboard creaked behind Adam and he knew who it was without having to look. Ronan figured the sound gave away his presence so he didn’t bother to leave. 

“Hey, Parrish.”

Adam looked back and let himself sink into Ronan’s arms against his chest.

“Hey.”

Ronan weighed the words, rolled them over in his thoughts before he said, “I think she’d be happy for you.”

“Thank you,” Adam sighed.

Ronan stood there with him, looking at the door to her old room. Adam pulled Ronan away with him back down the stairs and they were welcomed back by a mixed chorus of “You better not be using my room, Orla’s is more accustomed to bed usage of that sort” from Blue with backing vocals of “ooh la la” and “keep it PG under this roof” from Maura and Calla.

“Don’t be an asshole, Blue.”

“I thought you liked it when I was,” Blue shot back, hand locked with Gansey’s against her shoulder.

“Not when it’s directed at me,” Ronan said.

Adam laughed and subtly moved closer to Ronan.

“The Fourth of July is coming up soon.”

Ronan twitched against Adam at the mention of it. Adam didn’t think it was because of what happened on the fourth before senior year at Aglionby, but he wasn’t entirely sure. He let it pass though, as Ronan remained at ease when Calla continued.

“Are you all dragging your sorry behinds here or do you have other plans?”

“Other plans,” Ronan said, before anyone could even take a breath. “Yeah. We’ll be at the Barns. I have fireworks.”

“I’m sure you do,” Calla and Maura said together, eyeing him strangely.

Nobody missed the odd exchange, but nobody commented on it. It dawned on Ronan just then, that maybe they couldn’t quite put their finger on why the date seemed important to them and used the group to find out. In the same quick minute, Ronan went from annoyance at their bringing it up to an odd mix of happiness and gratitude that it might have mattered to them at all.

~

Gansey hung back for a movie night with Blue that Ronan and Adam skipped out on. They drove back to the Barns instead, hands locked over the center console.

“Can I ask you something?”

“What’s up?”

“It’s about the fourth.”

Ronan visibly tensed. “What about it?”

“Just now. When I said it you got all weird. Is this about Kavinsky?”

Ronan nearly drove his precious BMW into a tree. “Kavinsky?” He practically shouted. 

“We don’t have to talk about it, I just thought- you seemed tense and I wanted to make sure you were alright. All that stuff happened, it was-”

“Five years ago,” Ronan finished. “I’m not tense and if I was, it had nothing to do with that.”

“Ok.”

Adam believed him about Ronan’s tension having nothing to do with those events. He didn’t believe, couldn’t if he tried, that there wasn’t something written in the lines of Ronan’s face at the mere mention of the date. Ronan looked sideways at him and squeezed Adam’s hand, kissed the back of it.

“I’m good, I promise.”

Adam nodded. He took a deep breath, figured now was as good a time as any to talk about his decision to take a year off.

“I have to tell you something.”

“So tell me.”

“You remember when we talked about grad school?”

“Uh-huh.”

Adam paused. “I’m not going.”

Ronan hit the brakes too hard as he pulled up to the Barns. He shifted in his seat to face Adam head on and Adam did the same.

“Why not?”

“I’m going eventually, but I don’t know exactly what I want to do yet. I need some time to decide, I don’t want to rush into it. And I want to work and save up some money for books and everything. Scholarships are harder to get in grad programs so I want to save as much as I can.”

“Promise me this has nothing to do with me.”

When Adam didn’t answer right away, Ronan tore out of the car and slammed the door shut. Adam followed him up the steps, called his name only to get his back in answer.

“Ronan, I think it’s normal for you to factor into a decision like this. It’s only been what, almost five years?”

“Not if I’m fucking up something you wanted.”

“That’s not what this is. Don’t give yourself so much credit,” Adam shot back and immediately regretted it.

“Nice, Parrish.”

“I’m sorry, look- can you just give me a minute?” Adam said, louder than he’d spoken previously. “I’m going to go, but I am tired, Ronan. I need to catch my breath, I need to save money before I go back.”

“You didn’t say that was why before,” Ronan said.

“There doesn’t need to be just one reason. And I’m saying it now.”

Ronan’s chest was tight. The last thing he ever wanted was to keep Adam from doing what he wanted. He thought of the fourth, still weeks away. He thought of Adam feeling trapped, stuck in Henrietta, stuck with him.

“If we weren’t together, would you still not go?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“You think so?”

“Jesus, Ronan, with or without you I would still have gone to school for four years. I would still feel so fucking out of it half the time I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. But you know what the difference is _with_ you? I have some even ground. I have something to come back to, I have someone supportive in my corner. I just need to find my footing again and go into it with a more solid plan.” 

Ronan believed Adam. He wanted to at least, but he couldn’t shake the part of him that remembered when that inky blackness dripped out of him the summer after senior year and Adam said he would stay. He remembered when they got into a massive argument about the possibility of people finding Ronan and finding out what he could do and Adam, again, said he would stay and get dragged through whatever hell Ronan would right beside him.

“You influence this decision because I love you and I miss you when I’m gone and if that’s a bad thing then- then I don’t know, Ronan,” Adam said hopelessly.

Adam sank down in front of the couch and just missed the cushions, ended up with his bottom on the floor. Ronan sat down in front of him and guided Adam to look at him.

“I don’t want to hold you back. I don’t want you to ever feel stuck, Parrish, I never want to be the reason you don’t do something.”

“I’m not stupid,” Adam argued. “I can make my own decisions, Ronan, but you are a part of them. I’m sorry if that scares you, but all it means is that you are a part of my life. An important one.”

Ronan softened. He cupped Adam’s cheek with his free hand and Adam leaned into it.

“You’re a part of me,” Adam admitted softly. “Do you understand?”

Ronan nodded and said, “I think I do, it’s just- if you ever sacrificed what you wanted for me, I would lose it.”

“That’s not what this is.”

Ronan nodded. Adam stood up and Ronan followed, but he could see Adam’s shoulders were still tense and his mouth still turned down slightly at the corners.

“How long ago did you decide this, anyway?”

“Hasn’t been that long.”

“Am I the first to know?”

Adam sighed. “You want a reason to be mad? Fine. Here’s one- no. I talked about it with Gansey.”

“I’m not mad,” Ronan said through gritted teeth.

“Clearly.”

Ronan stewed in silence with his hands locked together against the back of his neck, elbows bent out and head hung low. Adam turned to go and give Ronan space, but Ronan chose that very moment to speak again.

“Why didn’t you tell me when you first thought about this?”

“ _This_ is why. If you haven’t noticed, Gansey has a much more level head than you.”

“Says you who fucking fights with him about everything.”

Adam glared at Ronan, but kept quiet. He stormed upstairs and Ronan watched him go, shut his eyes and chewed his bracelet when he heard their bedroom door slam closed. 

Upstairs, Adam got undressed and changed into the first thing he felt when he opened and reached into one of his drawers. He groaned to himself when he realized the t-shirt he’d put on was one of Ronan’s, but did nothing about it. He flopped face first onto the bed and sighed against a pillow, sat up after a moment and let his head fall back against the headboard with another tired breath. He cracked open a book after staring at the ceiling became boring and found himself rereading the same lines. He threw it on the floor in frustration just as he heard footsteps outside. Ronan strode in, gaze even, hands shoved into his pockets.

“The only person I know who hates going to bed pissed as much as me is you.”

Adam looked up at him. The lids of his eyes were low and he was wearing one of Ronan’s shirts and his hair looked like he’d run his fingers through it countless times. Ronan hardly had it in him to feel angry anymore.

“I’m sorry I reacted that way. You said yourself that I’m supportive and even though I think that’s too nice a word for me, I should have been this time, too.”

“It’s not too nice.” Adam rolled his eyes. “I’ll try to talk to you about it first next time,” Adam added. “And if you act like a jackass again, then I’ll go to Gansey.”

Adam’s contagious smile stretched across his face. Ronan pouted and crawled onto their bed, forced Adam backwards as he got closer.

“I’m not going to fall for you trying to kiss and make up,” Adam said, but his voice came out breathless and gave him away.

“How about I just kiss you then?”

Adam’s lips parted like he was going to answer, but no words came out. He managed a nod and Ronan’s lips caught on his and they teased with breaths and brushed noses before Ronan closed the gap. Adam palmed the back of Ronan’s neck as Ronan swept Adam into his lap and when they kissed, Ronan could feel the tired slowness of Adam’s movement. He broke their kiss and carded his fingers through Adam’s hair, marvelled at the softness of it.

“Hey,” Ronan said quietly.

“Hm?”

Ronan stared for a moment. His shirt, his heart, his Parrish. There was plenty he could have told him, he was sure, but he figured he’d said as much and actually doing it would matter more, anyway.

“Go to sleep, Parrish, you’re shot.”

“Can’t sleep when I’m pissed, remember? Otherwise I probably would be already, but you insisted on keeping me awake.”

Ronan smiled at the snark in Adam’s tone. He kissed him again, wrapped his arms tighter around Adam’s waist, smiled smugly when Adam crossed his arms over Ronan’s shoulders.

“I don’t see you stopping me.”

“I’d lose sleep for days if it meant kissing you a little while longer.”

Ronan’s smile faded. Adam meant those words, Ronan could see it in his eyes, hear it in the ease of the way Adam said them, as simple as the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening. Ronan kissed Adam, let his hands roam over Adam’s back and slip underneath his borrowed t-shirt. Ronan’s hands were warm and calloused and Adam felt at home when they were against his skin. Ronan broke the kiss too soon and Adam frowned, but Ronan smiled.

“C’mon, lie down.”

Adam obeyed after one more kiss. He fell asleep fast, like his body was waiting and would only accept sleep when it felt Ronan’s body up against it, when it heard that quiet wish for sweet dreams from the dreamer himself. 

~

Adam woke up slowly, the way night turned into day. He kicked gently with the jolt of coming out of a dream and blinked a few times, unable to open his eyes to more than a squint from the sun shining into the room.

Next to him was Ronan, sound asleep, lips parted as he breathed soft puffs of heat into the air. Adam remembered the first night he slept in this bed when Ronan told him it could be theirs the next morning. If it were anyone else, it might have been an easier conversation. Something like person A just isn’t ready and person B just wanted to give it a shot and maybe they could do it later on down the line. Or person A said yes instantly and person B was happy and they lived happily ever after.

But this was Adam and Ronan. Adam didn’t need charity, he didn’t need a place to stay, he chose to live in the apartment above the church because he’d gotten used to it. Ronan insisted this wasn’t charity, this was just what people did when they cared about someone, but _how could I expect you to know anything about that, Adam?_

Adam had gotten dressed so quickly and angrily, he nearly tore his clothes. He slammed the door to Ronan’s room ignoring Ronan calling his name, slammed the front door on his way out, and took off. Regret settled in him like venom in a snakebite.

He wasn’t in the old, hot apartment for long that day before Ronan bursted in, furious, annoyed, nervous. They went back and forth till the sun was low in the sky, Adam remembered that not everything was a fight, not everything was a hand out;  
Ronan remembered Adam knew how to put up a front and a fight, that time healed him, but it was a process like anything else.

They made a deal- just stay the weekends. Sleeping over from Friday to Sunday turned into sleeping over for half the week and by the next summer, the apartment above the church was history. Adam missed it sometimes, the dusty old place itself and the youthfulness he left there, but the Barns had everything he needed or wanted. Independence, space, memories, Ronan, promises that all those things were permanent fixtures. 

Adam brought himself back from the memory, rolled onto Ronan’s sleeping form. Adam kissed his shoulder, his ear, the back of his neck. Ronan groaned words underneath Adam, but they were muffled by the pillow.

“Try again.”

“I thought you were stopping,” Ronan said. “I was telling you not to.”

Adam nodded and let his nose bump against Ronan’s skin, puckered his lips and kept them just slightly parted.

Adam tended to be a morning person. Ronan was not. Soft kisses and carefully whispered good mornings that were felt on skin more than heard made mornings a little more worthwhile. Adam paused to rest his head on Ronan’s back, let himself be moved with the rise and fall of every breath Ronan took.

Adam stretched across Ronan and played with the leather band on his wrist. He hadn’t taken it off once, not for a second. He remembered the night Ronan gave it to him, the question that came not long after. It was a year ago and Adam still got butterflies just thinking about it. Not the white butterflies that looked like petals floating in the breeze. Monarchs, swallowtails, whooshing through his gut, setting every nerve end on fire.

“I can’t wait to marry you, Ronan Lynch,” Adam said, only to himself.

Ronan picked up the sound of his voice and gave a gruff, questioning hum in response. 

“Nothing,” Adam lied, mouth to Ronan’s skin. “Go back to sleep.”

~

July fourth rolled around all too quickly. Ronan was throwing a party- well, a get together. Gansey, Blue, and Adam would absolutely be in attendance. Henry was coming, too, and would crash with Gansey for the weekend instead of making the trip back home straight away.

Ronan invited the women of 300 Fox Way as well, but they’d declined. The day was spent getting a section of the barns ready. Henry hung up lights, Gansey helped Ronan unload dreamt up fireworks from one of the property’s structures. Adam was in the kitchen of his and Ronan’s place when Blue found him, in search of something to do.

“You can pass me those,” Adam said with a nod towards some food on the counter.

“Of course. Put the woman to work in the kitchen.”

Adam shook his head, but Blue smiled, bumped her hip against her friend’s.

“Did Ronan mention why exactly he wanted to do this?”

“Not to me, but you know him. He likes having everyone around here,” Adam said, eyes on the vegetables under his knife. “Why?”

“Seems weird,” Blue answered, unable to shake the feeling in her gut though she had no idea why.

“Well Ronan’s weird,” Adam shrugged.

“We’re all weird, but good point.”

Blue pulled herself up onto the counter opposite Adam. They spoke of Cabeswater, tarot reading, what comes after college, the Barns. It was easy between them as it always should have been.

“Parrish?” Henry’s voice called into the foyer.

“Kitchen!”

“Are you aware that we’re barbecuing?” Henry said, eyeing the stove.

“Just preparing,” Adam said. “Blue, I’m well aware that your place is not the kitchen, but could you please grab the rest of these from the fridge?”

“Only for you,” she said with a wink.

The group was joined by Ronan and Gansey and they both hurled towards the fridge, skin slick, hair stuck down in Gansey’s case.

“It’s hot as Satan’s nuts out there,” Ronan said.

“Bet you’d know all about that,” Blue said.

“Not as much as you, witch,” he said, voice teasing, eyes mischievous. 

Blue shoved his shoulder and he laughed with his mouth around a bottle of water. Gansey slung an arm over Adam’s shoulders and Adam made a displeased face, nose scrunched and brows furrowed.

“You smell like-”

“Satan’s nuts?”

Ronan choked on his water and Blue held out her fist for Ronan to knock his knuckles against.

Gansey frowned and Adam had to stop cutting food until his laughter passed. Ronan joined Adam on his opposite side and he smelled equally rotten. Ronan rolled his eyes at Adam’s disgusted expression.

“It can’t be that bad.”

“Oh it’s bad,” Henry jumped in.

Ronan rolled his eyes again, this time at Henry. He mussed Gansey’s sweaty hair and kissed Adam on the cheek before he started away from them.

“We’re all ready to go outside,” Ronan called out on his way upstairs.

“Blue. Is it really that bad?” Gansey asked, clearly worried over it.

“Yes.”

Gansey paused. “Come here,” he tried, voice odd and gruff and- Adam realized he might have just heard a fraction of Gansey’s attempt at seduction.

“Absolutely not.”

“Damn,” Gansey frowned.

Blue smiled apologetically. Adam finished up with his part and slumped into a chair next to Henry.

“Go shower,” Blue urged Gansey. “And try that again later.”

Gansey left as told and Blue leaned on the last two boys’ shoulders.

In between sideways glances at each of them she asked, “Swim?” 

“Thought you’d never ask,” Adam said happily, dragging himself out of his seat to follow Blue outside.

~

It was as perfect as a summer day could be.

The pool served as an escape from the heavy, muggy heat; the sun remained untouched by clouds. The smell of barbecuing food drifted through the air and music played on a speaker system Henry helped Ronan set up.

Everyone was smiling, laughing, acting years younger than their ages. Henry stopped caring about his hair long enough to risk playing a game of chicken.

There was a twist in this round though. Normally the game pinned Adam on Ronan’s shoulders against Blue on Gansey’s. Five was an impossible number to play with, but Gansey didn’t do impossible. He took as deep a breath as he could manage and held it while Henry climbed onto his shoulders and Blue onto Henry’s.

“This isn’t gonna last very long,” Blue said skeptically, but she smiled.

Henry agreed with a slow, careful nod. Adam laughed brightly as he watched it unfold. Gansey finally burst through the surface and as he did, Henry fell backwards still holding onto Blue’s ankles and Blue hit the water with a shriek. 

Adam’s laughter became hysterical. He clutched his stomach, begging to not laugh anymore and Gansey swept his hair out of his eyes with a sharp jerk of his head, clearing his vision. Gansey hopped up to reach Adam’s elbow and pulled him backwards, smiled victoriously as Adam crashed into the pool.

Adam left the group to check on the food. He called for them to come out and felt like a mother ushering kids the way they bolted over, soaked and hungry. Gansey and Ronan both planted kisses on either side of Adam’s cheeks in thanks. Blue said she wished she had a photo of that and turned Adam’s cheeks bright red. They ate and drank and laughed and snapped photos when they remembered to. All of them felt blissful, happy, they all felt home.

~

The sun sank slowly, but not before it painted the scenery gold. Adam’s favorite. He stood at the water’s edge to admire it and smiled when he felt Ronan’s arms snake around his waist. They kissed when they thought nobody was looking, ignored the sweat that beaded on their skin from standing so close in high heat.

Then the sun fell and the sky went from pink and orange to deep blue. It hardly brought the temperature down, but they still covered up, cooled a little from the lack of light and pool-wet skin. Henry came prepared with a hat, having figured he would mess up his hair at some point in the day. They all took part in setting up a very much illegal bonfire, but none of them cared all that much about the risk.

Sparks rose into the air, curled around them, threatened to singe skin. Blue sat tucked into Gansey’s side, his arm over her shoulder and their hands laced like they always seemed to be. Ronan and Adam were unhidden in front of their group- Ronan lied back on a lounge chair while his drink dangled from his fingers against the ground and Adam sat in between his legs, leaning on one of Ronan’s bent knees.

“Hey, Ronan?” Henry called, interrupting a conversation about Gansey’s parents latest endeavors.

“What?”

“Can you dream me a date? I feel horribly left out.” 

Ronan actually smirked at the question and Blue leaned away from Gansey to pinch Henry’s cheek. Henry batted her away and Gansey turned his attention to the darkened sky.

“Sounds like they’ve started,” he observed.

It sounded like the crackle of a thunderstorm, but the day told them what it really was. Adam moved out of Ronan’s way so he could get up to get it all ready.

“You dreamed this,” Henry said for clarification when Ronan returned to the group.

“Uh-huh.”

“Well let’s see it,” Henry said happily.

Ronan got comfortable behind Adam again. Adam twisted to face him, bemused.

“Don’t you have to go set up the next ones?”

“It’s from a dream, Parrish. They go until I say stop.”

Adam nodded, waited for the first one to explode. Ronan readjusted, sat up so the space between their bodies was almost non existent. There was a breath, the fizz of beer in a freshly opened bottle, and then the sky shattered, or so it sounded like it. Purple and gold rained down over the lake, bathing the field in bright color. Another shot off, this one green and purple and it soared high above them, crackling as it did. They came in bursts that echoed in the space around them, lit the entire sky so that the tops of trees and sparse clouds became visible.

“Happy Fourth,” Blue said with her bottle raised into the air.

She stretched to tip her glass against Henry’s, bumped it against Gansey’s as he tilted to kiss her forehead. Ronan held up a bottle and Adam cracked one open to participate, held it out with a smile. The fireworks continued to explode in colors only Ronan could dream and Adam leaned against the solid body behind him. Adam’s attention was dragged from the spectacle in the sky to his own wrist where Ronan played with the gift he’d given Adam last summer.

Ronan spoke into Adam’s right ear over the explosions. “Do you remember the night I gave this to you?”

“Always will.”

“So you remember what I asked?”

“Always will,” Adam repeated, though his voice was wistful, soft. 

“Parrish,” Ronan said, just as the fireworks died down for a short moment before soaring into the sky in red and gold.

Adam twisted around so their gazes locked on one another. He could feel the eyes of the others on them.

“I want to ask again.”

Adam looked down at where Ronan’s wrist touched his, when Ronan slipped a silver band onto Adam’s ring finger.

“Oh my god,” Gansey said, but Adam thought he sounded far away, hushed by the display above them.

Adam blinked at the ring. He curled his finger, adjusted to the weight of this new thing he would never take off.

“So will you?”

Adam tore his gaze away from the ring and found Ronan’s eyes on him. Ronan, in his stupid black muscle t-shirt and swim shorts, permanently worn leather bands hung around his wrist. He smelled of sweat and beer, teakwood soap and his dream pool water. His eyes reflected the fireworks as clearly as the pool did and Adam could feel his pulse against his own wrist.

“My answer hasn’t changed,” Adam said easily. “Of course I will.” 

“Yeah?” Ronan said, as happy as the first time, like this was new.

“Yeah,” Adam said, reminded of the presence of the rest of the gang when they started whooping and cheering.

The sound got absorbed by that of the fireworks bursting bigger and brighter. In place of champagne, Gansey shook a bottle of beer and popped the top off with an opener, cheering as it foamed over the top and dripped onto the ground. Adam kissed Ronan sweetly, head tilted back, hands twined on top of their knees. He nearly dropped his bottle to free his other hand and curl it around Ronan’s neck, but stopped himself before he got too carried away.

Blue stared at them with watery eyes even though part of her hated crying at sappy moments like this. Gansey hugged her close and she pulled him in, let her head fall against his chest.

“I wish Noah was here,” Blue said.

Gansey looked up and held his drink to the stars. “I think he is.”

She nodded and held her drink up, too. Henry’s excitement distracted her and she watched as he tore his hat off and followed with his shirt. 

“Celebratory night swim?”

Blue shot up without question, grabbed Gansey’s hand to pull him along.

“Guys?” Gansey called to Adam and Ronan.

“One second,” Adam answered for them both.

Sure the other three were out of sight based on the laughter coming from the pool, Adam leaned in. Ronan met him halfway, let his bottle spill away to cup Adam’s cheek. Adam smiled and mirrored the movement he’d wanted to attempt before, let Ronan pull him in with his other hand. Ronan pulled away at the sound of Gansey calling their names.

“Guess we should join them,” Adam said.

“I’d rather keep doing this.”

“We have always to do this,” Adam reminded him. He unfolded from the chair and reached out to wrap Ronan’s hand in his. “Now we celebrate.”

They strode to the pool side by side, stripped on their way. Blue, Gansey, and Henry cheered for them and Ronan held Adam’s left hand into the air like he’d just won a boxing match. Adam felt his cheeks get warm as he laughed and he gasped when Ronan effortlessly lifted him into the air and threw him into the water. Ronan jumped in after him and he let Ronan push their bodies together.

“Are you really gonna marry me, Parrish?”

“Looks like it.”

Ronan kissed him. Henry aww’ed obnoxiously and Blue splashed at them. Ronan smiled with his eyes closed, didn’t let himself be distracted from kissing Adam. They swam underneath fireworks, played chicken when their victorious shouts and sore-loser cries couldn’t be heard over the thunderous show above them long after the rest of the east coast’s fireworks died out.

~

A long day out under the sun and in the water left them all tired. Blue fell asleep against Gansey under a blanket Ronan dug up for them. Henry started to nod off and Adam let a sleepy Ronan get comfortable against his chest. Adam and Gansey mirrored each other and they exchanged knowing smiles across from one another.

“I’m happy for you, Adam,” Gansey said softly, careful not to wake either of their sleeping partners.

“Thanks, Gansey.”

“Does this mean I have to throw two bachelor parties?”

“Oh no, no.”

“It’s like a right of passage, Parrish. You have no say in the matter and I’m pretty confident that I’ll be the best man on both sides so that means it’s my decision.”

Adam didn’t try to hide his eye roll. Gansey smiled over his drink and took a swig, if swig was the right word for making drinking lukewarm beer look like an art form taught only to the elite.

“What time is it?”

Gansey glanced at his Rolex. “Christ. It’s nearly four.”

“Sun’s gonna come up soon,” Adam said. “Should we get these losers inside?”

“Who’s going to carry Cheng?”

“Cheng will carry himself,” Henry replied.

Adam whispered a gentle “wake up” into Ronan’s ear, rubbed his hand against the freshly buzzed cut of Ronan’s hair.

“Blue?” Gansey spoke across the way. “It’s 4 o’clock.”

She merely hummed and rolled over. Gansey adjusted and scooped Blue into his arms and she curled her arm over his shoulder like this was a normal thing for them. It was after all- countless nights on couches ended in Blue falling asleep and having to be carried off to bed.

“Cheng. You’re crashing on the couch.”

Cheng nodded wordlessly, maybe a bit tipsy from the way he stumbled forward.

“We’ll clean this up tomorrow,” Adam said to Ronan.

The group left their mess behind and Adam bumped fists with Gansey to say good night.

“Good night, Lynch,” Blue said.

“Night,” Ronan said tiredly, the word breathed through a yawn. 

“That was for both of you,” Blue corrected with a smile on her face, eyes still shut.

~

Ronan trailed behind Adam up the stairs to their room. Adam stood against the dresser for a moment before he dug a change of clothes out and headed for the bathroom.

“What are you doing?”

“Showering,” Adam said.

“It’s four in the morning.”

“And we’ve been outside in and out of the pool all day.”

Ronan flopped onto the bed, uncaring. He heard the water cut on as he dozed off, followed by the distinct rustle of clothes hitting the floor. Ronan forced himself out of bed and poked his head in just as Adam slid the shower door shut behind him.

“Since this is going to keep me awake, why don’t I join you?”

They both knew it wouldn’t really. Adam slid the door back open and waved his hand towards himself. Ronan undressed and sighed when the hot water hit the back of his neck, let it wash over him and eyed Adam from under droplet covered lashes, vision blurred just a little.

Adam washed his hair and bumped Ronan out of the way to rinse. Ronan kept an eye on him, scrubbed lazily while Adam efficiently got himself soapy and rinsed off. Ronan watched the last suds pour down Adam’s body and swirl down the drain before he reached for him, unwilling to get a mouthful of soap. Adam lost his breath when Ronan pushed him against the shower wall. The cool tile against Adam’s warm skin sent a chill through him and Ronan’s mouth on his did nothing to ease the sensation.

Ronan caught Adam’s wrists and guided him to rest his arms over Ronan’s shoulders. Adam’s fingertips pressed against Ronan’s neck and when they kissed, Adam’s grip on him tightened. Adam let his head tilt back against the wall when Ronan gave him a gentle nudge, brushed his nose against Adam’s collarbone before he planted a kiss on the column of Adam’s neck.

Adam let Ronan take him apart. It was slow and lazy, unrushed in the quiet of early morning. Adam could think of nothing but Ronan’s mouth on his skin, couldn’t say anything besides Ronan’s name paired with please if he could even manage that. Ronan’s hands slid from Adam’s wrist to join with Adam’s, fingers slotted together, pulse points lined up.

Ronan rested his forehead on Adam’s and shut his eyes. Adam nudged his head up just to kiss him and his heart fluttered at the softness of Ronan’s mouth, the way the two of them molded together so naturally.

They wordlessly agreed that it was time to get out. Out the window, Adam could see the sky lightening to a softer shade of blue, the trees but a dense shadow, the sun still a ways from shining. Ronan, too tired to do much of anything, hardly dried off. Adam rubbed a towel against his hair to stop it from soaking and climbed into bed and onto Ronan’s lap when invited to do so.

“You caught a lot of sun today,” Ronan observed.

Adam stretched his arms to look at them. The shower seemed to wash away the day and reveal the tanner color, but the difference was particularly stark against a white t-shirt. Adam’s freckles darkened as well which Ronan pointed out with a gentle finger, moving over Adam’s cheeks as if he were tracing constellations he might have found in the flecks. 

Ronan dropped his hand to grab Adam’s. He lifted their twined fingers into the air and spread their fingers apart, kept them flattened and lined up. Adam stared at his ring and noticed an inscription on it, markings that he thought were a trick of the firework light earlier.

“Ronan,” Adam breathed.

His voice brought Ronan back from a daze and he met Adam’s eyes. Adam read the inscription out loud. Amabo te. Ronan smiled tiredly, brought Adam’s hand to his mouth to kiss the knuckle of his ring finger. Adam curled towards Ronan and kissed his neck. His skin was warm from the sun and a hot shower and Adam craved the feeling of it against his lips. Adam pulled away too soon, but Ronan was nodding off anyway so Adam watched him fall asleep. Adam made himself comfortable beside Ronan and traced his lips, fingertip barely touching, a whisper against Ronan’s mouth.

“Dream easy, Ro.”

~

Adam was surprised to find Ronan awake when he opened his eyes the next morning.

“What time is it?” Adam asked, voice sleepy, eyes squinted against the sun.

“Almost one.”

“Ronan,” Adam exclaimed as he jolted upright. “Why would you let me sleep so late?”

“We were up till almost five in the morning,” Ronan said. “What do you need to be up for anyway?”

Adam realized Ronan was right, but he didn’t like to stay in bed so late. He didn’t like to feel like time had been lost to sleep.

“I don’t know, wedding planning?” Adam argued unconvincingly.

Ronan’s brow furrowed at the words. “Wait. We should, right?”

“I wasn’t serious.”

“But we do need to plan.”

“We’re not getting married tomorrow,” Adam replied, wiping sleep out of his eyes.

“Not tomorrow, but not that far off.”

“Huh?”

“Well,” Ronan said, hand at the back of his neck, “I thought we could do it in the fall.”

“This fall?”

“Yes.”

Adam thought about it for a moment. Fall was not far around the corner. Fall was just a couple of months away and would leave very little time to prepare. Fall was exactly when Adam wanted to do it.

“I’d like that.”

Ronan found himself smiling brightly. It was like hearing Adam’s yes all over again.

“So the fall then.”

“If we can get everything together on time. I mean- we have to send invites don’t we? And food, we need food. I need to get a suit, I still only have the one and-”

“You’re already losing it, Parrish.”

Adam sighed. He let Ronan grab his face and center his focus.

“We can make it happen.”

Adam frowned. Ronan hated to see anything but joy in those blue eyes of his and searched them now for a hint of excitement that wasn’t there.

“Ronan, I saved money all through college. I’ve done pretty well for myself, but I don’t know if I’ll have enough.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Ronan sighed.

Adam shook his head. How could he not? He knew Ronan could easily build every aspect of their wedding day in his dreams, but they both knew that’s not what Adam wanted, not entirely.

“I’ll work this summer. Maybe I’ll go back to the shop and scrape together some extra cash.”

“If your stubbornness wasn’t the most Adam Parrish thing about you, it would be the most annoying.”

Adam tried to look displeased, but Ronan’s smile was too soft and his forehead on Adam’s was apologetic even if they both knew Ronan was joking. Mostly.

“Let’s go over the easy parts,” Ronan suggested.

“There are easy parts?”

“Well the invite list, location…”

Ronan trailed off and fell silent, and Adam smirked. “So two parts?”

“I guess so,” Ronan frowned.

Adam hopped up to grab a paper and pen and they started scribbling out a list of names. Gansey, Blue, and Henry were givens. Declan and Matthew, the women of Fox Way, the Gansey clan. Adam had a couple of college friends he thought he might like to have there. It turned out to be a very short list. Adam stared down at it and chewed on his pen.

“So it will be small.”

“Did you want a big wedding?”

“I don’t know,” Adam shrugged. “Never gave it that much thought. Did you?”

“I haven’t thought about it much either, but I don’t think so.”

Adam still had some presumptions ingrained in him when it came to money and status and what it meant. In this case, he thought it meant lavish parties for any celebratory occasion, especially a wedding. He thought this and he thought that and then he realized his stupidity.

“Me neither.”

They moved onto location. Ronan reached to grab his laptop, but Adam stopped him.

“Let’s do it here.”

“Here? At the Barns?”

“Here at the Barns,” Adam clarified. “If you want to, I mean. This is your home and now it’s mine, too, and we could do anything we want.”

“Let’s do it.”

“Really?” Adam asked happily.

Ronan nodded and said his yes against Adam’s mouth. Adam kissed him hungrily, pulled himself into Ronan’s lap and held him tight.

“We’re really doing this,” Adam said quietly.

“Yes we are.”

To Ronan’s disappointment, Adam snapped back into planning mode after another kiss. He listed everything they would need and Ronan just stared at him as he read his notes off. Music, food, invites, suits, decorations, cake, drinks, vows, someone to perform the ceremony. Ronan left to grab some snacks to bring back upstairs and plopped down onto the bed next to Adam. He eyed the list and raised his eyebrows.

“Bagpipes?” Ronan read off.

“The music of your people. I figured for the ceremony we could do a live band if money allows and then for the reception just have a DJ. What do you think?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Adam rattled off ideas and Ronan fell in love again every time Adam opened his mouth to speak. He closed his eyes for a moment to imagine it- the two of them standing in front of the small crowd, rings in place, forever on the horizon. He heard the wedding march played on bagpipes so clearly, he forgot it was in his head for a moment. Ronan’s phone went off and dragged him out of his daydreams. He handed it to Adam to answer and heard Gansey on the other line.

“Are you guys decent?”

“Yes.”

“Great, I’m coming in.”

Adam hung up and barely a minute passed before Gansey unlocked their door, strode up the stairs, and poked his head into their room.

“What are you up to?”

“Planning,” Adam said cheerily.

“For?”

“The wedding, dumbass,” Ronan said.

“Already?”

“It’s happening sooner than expected,” Adam said with a glance at Ronan.

“How soon?” Gansey asked, eyes narrowed.

“The fall.”

“This fall? Of this year?”

Adam and Ronan nodded in unison. Gansey sat down at the foot of the bed and eyed them.

“Helen,” he said after a pause, a bit loudly considering their close proximity to one another. “Helen can plan!”

“No, that’s ok.”

“Parrish, how many weddings have you planned exactly? Listen. Make a list of your demands, I’ll give her a call.”

“Demands? Wait, Gansey, can she- she can stick to a budget right? That works for both of us, I mean.”

Ronan and Gansey exchanged a look. Adam didn’t miss it. 

“She can do that.”

“Ok. And they aren’t demands. This isn’t going to be a huge thing.”

“Hey Gansey, I plan on dreaming some of the extra stuff. She can just take care of the basics, right? The music and food and that sort of thing.”

“Absolutely.”

“Are you sure she’ll do it?”

“That’s a promise.”

Adam shook his head, but didn’t argue. He reminded himself that it wasn’t a hand out. It was normal to have outside help for this kind of thing. Gansey left with his phone to his ear and Helen on the other end of the call while Ronan and Adam went over a couple of details that Ronan eventually brushed aside in favor of pinning Adam underneath him and kissing him senseless. Gansey interrupted with a knock on the door and Ronan threw his head back in frustration.

“What?”

Gansey opened the door and caught Ronan climbing away from Adam and Adam straightening himself into a sitting position. Adam was red in the face, mostly his cheeks and lips. Before Gansey could get more than a word out, Ronan cut him off with an unfriendly, “Please, come in,” as Adam fixed his rumpled t-shirt.

“I knocked.”

“So? I didn’t like you just coming into my room at Monmouth and I don’t like it now.”

“Good thing it isn’t just your room.”

Adam flopped melodramatically onto the bed.

“So is Helen ok with this?” he asked, arm stretched across his forehead.

“Sure is. I’ll leave you to it and let her know to call you later.”

Gansey pulled the door closed behind him and Ronan climbed on top of Adam again, pushed his arm out of the way.

“You really said yes.”

Adam gave an amused sniff. “I really did.”

Adam realized that although Helen would be a much appreciated and enormous help, it didn’t matter all that much. Everything she would plan, everything Ronan would dream- it was all just a bonus.

Ronan would be standing opposite him when Adam vowed to be eternally his and that was all he really needed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _"I'm all yours if you're all mine."_  
> 
> 
> ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last part is up a bit later than expected. If you read a single paragraph, a chapter, or the whole thing, I am so grateful. As usual, this is self-edited so any mistakes are all mine.
> 
> ~~~

On October 21st, the sun rose over the Barns brightly enough to wake Adam up in the early hours of the morning.

On October 21st, Adam would no longer be just Adam Parrish. He would be Adam Parrish-Lynch, though Gansey and the reason for this change both insisted they wouldn’t stop calling him Parrish any time soon.

Adam stretched and kept his eyes closed against the sun. He sighed deeply, let his body relax into the mattress. Ronan slept soundly next to him with his arm thrown over Adam’s back. Adam shifted carefully and opened his eyes. They felt tired and he knew he could sleep for a little while longer, but before he let himself drift, he touched Ronan’s nose, let his finger brush over Ronan’s mouth.

“I get to marry you today.”

~

When Adam woke up again, the sun shined in streaks of yellow and white into the bedroom. He shifted and rolled onto his side, prepared to kiss Ronan good morning, but found himself alone under the covers. It took a moment to register, but he heard the hustle and bustle of people preparing for the day and figured Ronan was busy somewhere outside.

Adam wasted no time climbing out of bed. He jogged down the steps and out the front door and though the sudden burst of light hurt his eyes initially, he smiled as he looked out. 

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” Blue said as she came to lean on the porch bannister beside him. “I see you couldn’t be bothered to change out of pajamas.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Adam said. “I’m ready to help now though.”

“Who helps on their own wedding day?”

Adam scratched his head. “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I supposed to just sit here till it’s time?”

Blue shrugged when she said, “There’s not a lot left to do. Helen’s a superhero.” 

Adam sank to the steps. He sat with his arms dangling over his knees, rested his chin on his arm.

“I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Are you excited?”

“Beyond it.”

“Nervous?”

“Beyond it,” Adam repeated. 

“Don’t be,” Blue smiled. “This is what always was in store, I think.”

“I know,” Adam said with a smile back.

Blue looked up and caught Ronan nearly opening the door. She jumped up and held it closed.

“Bad luck!” she said, standing on the tips of her toes to see Ronan through the glass.

He scowled at her and called to Adam.

“Parrish! Help me out here.”

Adam glared at Blue. “Seriously?”

“What? It is!”

~

Adam went back inside after Blue urged him to do so with a promise that his help wasn’t necessary. He jogged upstairs and stood in front of the mirror, looked at his reflection and then the ring on his finger.

“Adam Parrish-Lynch,” he said to himself.

He inhaled deeply and let the breath go slowly passed his lips. He returned to the bedroom and found his vows, scrawled in his somewhat messy handwriting and read them quietly to himself. He flopped onto the bed and held the paper to his chest, closed his eyes and thought of Ronan. It was strange not seeing him now when Adam wanted to most.

“Adam?”

“Hey, Gansey. Come in,” Adam answered.

Gansey walked over and sat on the bed next to Adam.

“Were you with Ronan?”

“Yes.”

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s more excited than anything,” Gansey said with a smile. “And how are you?”

“Nervous,” Adam admitted, “but excited, too. I miss him.”

“God, the dramatics. You know he’s just downstairs?”

Adam smiled even when he rolled his eyes. “Yes, but Blue is making sure we don’t see each other. Bad luck and all that, remember?”

“I suppose that means I should work for her cause.”

Adam nodded sadly. 

“Seriously, Adam. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m ok. My head is kind of all over the place, but I’m ok.”

Gansey gave Adam a worried look. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t believe this is really happening, I guess.”

Gansey searched Adam’s face. Adam met his eyes and sighed, looked at the walls around them, clutched his paper a little tighter.

“There are parts of me still left over from before,” Adam said quietly. “The parts that believed my father when he told me I was worthless, stuff like that,” Adam shrugged like ‘stuff like that’ was normal. Gansey remembered that for Adam, it was. 

“I’m happy,” Adam told Gansey. “And I think Ronan is too, but I feel like he should have more.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

Adam looked up and Gansey faced him head on.

“Ronan has everything he wants. You need to know that, you need to know that he was wrong,” Gansey said and the way he referred to Adam’s father was angrier than Adam had ever heard Gansey sound. Adam nodded. It was all he could manage.

“You’re my brother, Adam. So take it from me, your real family- you deserve to be as happy as you are with Ronan and Ronan… you’re everything to him.” 

Adam let Gansey pull him into a loose, sideways hug. Gansey ruffled Adam’s hair and Adam offered a small, but no less genuine smile.

“Thank you, Gansey.”

Gansey nodded and gave Adam a quick squeeze before he got up.

“Hey,” he said from the doorway.

Adam snapped his head up and Gansey nodded. “You two are a match made in heaven you know that? I was going to keep it to myself, but I had a very similar talk with your husband to be a little while ago.”

Adam’s eyes widened. “What?”

“He thinks you’re settling.”

“No. No, I need to talk to him, I thought you said he was excited. I- how could he think that?”

“I think he would ask the same thing about you.”

Adam opened his mouth as if to speak and snapped it closed when words failed him. Gansey offered a knowing smile and pulled the door closed as Adam fell backwards on top of the blankets.

~

Adam and Ronan caught brief, blurry glances of one another throughout the day, but that was all. Blue actually smacked Ronan’s arm at one point when he tried to peek at Adam and Adam could hear them argue even as they moved away from the room.

Ronan hated this. His nerves and a sudden onslaught of emotions called for another person, but that person was being hidden away in their room upstairs. He tried to calm himself, counted the beats of an old Irish folk song in his head, and then he heard Adam’s voice.

“I promise I won’t look. I just want to talk to him.”

“I’ll kick you both where the sun doesn’t shine,” Blue threatened.

“I believe you. Ronan?”

The tension eased out of his shoulders. Just that damn voice was enough.

“Hey, Parrish.”

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Better now.”

Adam spared a narrow eyed glare at Blue. She simply gave him a wide eyed innocent look as if she wasn’t the pitbull of a woman making sure they stayed apart all day. She turned on her heel, chin up and gaze hard. She announced that she was going to get ready and that if they tried anything, her third eye would know. Adam slid down to sit against the wall, his back lined up where Ronan’s rested on the opposite side.

“Talk to me,” Adam said softly.

“It just feels weird.”

“What does?”

“Not having my mother or father here to see this.”

Adam’s heart sank in his chest. It hit his stomach like a brick hard enough to shorten his breath for a beat.

“I wish they could be here. I bet your mom would be fawning over you in a suit.”

“Probably,” Ronan smiled.

“They’d be happy for you, I think. Be honest, would I have gotten your father’s approval?”

“Absolutely.”

Adam laughed and the sound healed the fractures in Ronan’s heart. He pictured his family, unbroken by death and nightmares, and Adam, a part of it as natural as anyone else. Ronan realized both young men would walk down the aisle not with parents, but with family nonetheless.

“How about you?”

“What about me?”

Ronan hesitated and with a sigh, he said, “Your parents.”

“Everyone I need here is here. I’m alright,” Adam said too quickly, bordering on defensive. He remained silent for a pause that could have been seconds, minutes. When Adam spoke again, his voice was gentler, unguarded. “Who doesn’t want their parents to see this day, right? I’m not upset, it’s the idea that sounds nice, you know? Not them though. They don’t deserve to see this,” Adam sniffed.

Ronan could have broken through the wall at that sound just to hold the person on the other side.

“No,” Adam continued, with effort to keep his voice steady. “No, I’m exactly where I need to be with who I need to be with. I’m alright, I promise.”

Ronan let his head knock against the wall. They sat in silence for a few long minutes and Adam slid towards the entryway to the other room. Ronan looked down to find Adam’s hand flat against the floor and he reached for it, interlocked their fingers.

“Ronan.”

“Yeah?”

“Gansey told me what you said today. About me settling.”

“I swear to god I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“No, you’re not,” Adam said, amused by the hollow threat. “Listen, I need you to know how not true that is.”

“I can’t help but think it,” Ronan admitted.

“Try. I know how you feel because sometimes I think the same thing, but-”

“How could you ever think that, Parrish?” Ronan wondered out loud.

“I can’t help it either,” Adam said.

Ronan exhaled sharply through his nose and slotted his fingers with Adam’s after he pulled them apart.

“You aren’t someone that anybody can just settle for, Ronan. You’re everything.”

Ronan’s breath left him so fast, a small whine escaped with it that Adam didn’t miss.

“I wish I could kiss you right now.”

“I wish you could, too.”

Silence fell over them and Adam traced the lines of Ronan’s palm, flattened his hand so Ronan could reciprocate. 

“So how much of this did you dream anyway?”

“Let it be a surprise.”

Adam shut his eyes for a moment while Ronan soothingly played with his fingers and opened them at the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

“Guys! It’s time to get dressed!”

Adam let go of Ronan and stood up. He heard Ronan’s socks scuff against the floor, nearly turned the corner just so he could kiss the man on the other side.

“We’re almost there,” Ronan said. “If you’re gonna bow out, now’s the time.”

“Shut up. I’ll see you out there?” Adam said.

When Ronan spoke, Adam swore he could hear his smile.

“See you out there.”

~

Adam turned to go upstairs and froze at the bottom of the steps. Blue stood at the top of them in a dress the color of her name. It hit the floor in swirls of fabric that swayed around her with the slightest movement. She was in the middle of pinning back her hair when Adam paused and she gave him a shy smile.

“You look incredible, Blue.”

“Hey, it’s not me you’re marrying.”

“Thank goodness for that.”

Adam smiled as he passed her and tucked a misplaced strand of hair back where it belonged.

“Question. Do neither of you have to do the something borrowed thing or do you both have to do it?”

Adam hummed thoughtfully. He shrugged as he stroked his hand over his suit where it hung on the back of the bathroom door.

“You can be my something blue in any case,” Adam said.

Blue failed to pretend that didn’t make her feel like the sun was shining from inside her very soul.

“What about Ronan’s?”

“We can share.”

“Ok. Something borrowed?”

Adam struggled to come up with something suitable. He suggested they come back to it and insisted his leather bracelet from Ronan would count for his something old.

“Can the something new be the suit?”

“I don’t see why not,” Blue said.

Blue smoothed her hands over Adam’s sleeves as he got dressed. His head to toe black ensemble was broken up by a pearl white silk tie. Or bowtie. He still hadn’t decided.

“You figure that out. I’m going to go check on Ronan.”

Blue left Adam and found Ronan pacing, nearly ready. He wore head to toe black, even his tie. 

“Look at you, handsome.”

“Blue Sargent,” Ronan said. “You look like a damn star.”

Blue grinned. 

“Tell me you’re wearing something new, old, and borrowed.”

“What about something blue?”

“You’re looking at her.”

Ronan smiled. Blue appraised him and spotted his ever worn bracelets- something old. The suit would be his something new, same as Adam. Something borrowed was a mystery to both of them, then.

“I got it,” she said happily.

Blue pulled two hair ties from around her wrist. She handed one to Ronan and he pulled it on without question.

“Guess I’m set.”

Blue nodded and returned to Adam. She heard Gansey come in as she disappeared into the bathroom. Adam stared into the mirror and fixed his hair as best as he could. She helped him get it just right and he stared at his reflection.

“Not bad, right?”

“Not at all,” she said. “Oh! Here’s your something borrowed.”

“A scrunchy?”

“Hair tie, scrunchy, whatever you’d like to call it.”

Adam pulled it on the same wrist as Ronan’s bracelet. He watched Blue put on some final touches and leaned out of view when he heard footsteps in case it was Ronan. Gansey, instead, knocked on the wall and Adam watched him freeze when he caught a glimpse of Blue. Adam smiled and looked away.

With a hand over his heart, Gansey said, “Well I’ll be damned.”

Blue seemed to float across the floor. Gansey held out a hand to spin her around and she did so with a smile that shone like nothing less than diamonds.

“Forget it, Parrish. Someone else is getting married today,” Gansey said without looking away from Blue.

“Oh, cut it out.”

Adam could hear her smile. He twisted his ring around his finger nervously while Gansey helped Blue put her shoes on. It was a shock to everyone that she decided to wear heels.

Gansey peered out the window at the sky and looked to Adam. “It’s nearly time.”

“It is,” Adam agreed.

Gansey swallowed too hard and moved towards Adam.

“It’s not too late. I don’t mind walking down with Helen if you want Blue to walk with you.”

Adam wasn’t mad at Gansey’s persistence. Adam heard in Gansey’s voice how deeply he cared for Adam, how badly he wanted this day to be perfect.

“I’m alright.”

Gansey nodded.

“Hey, Adam?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t tell Blue, but I think you look equally stunning.”

Adam cracked up and Gansey laughed with him before he jogged down the steps. Adam waited for Blue to retrieve him. When they stepped outside, a cool breeze blew against Adam’s cheeks. He adjusted his bowtie and checked to make sure his clothes remained flawless. His fingers shook and his heart pounded in his chest, and Chainsaw circled above them as they walked, a reminder of the rightness of it all.

The field where they would be married came into view. Two white tents where they would hold the reception stood off to the far right. The spot for the ceremony was designated as the clearing into the woods.

Ronan dreamt the branches on two oddly symmetrical trees to be lower, for flowers to blossom from vines that twisted around them and rain petals onto the ground below where they would stand. Adam hadn’t been allowed to see the final product until now and his jaw dropped at the sight of it. Blue stood up on the tips of her toes, the heels only slightly helping her reach, and kissed Adam’s cheek.

“Love you, kid.”

“Love you, too.”

From here, Adam could see the small group of attendees chatting around their seats. Ronan was nowhere to be found at first, but he must have appeared because Blue shoved Adam to face the opposite direction.

“See ya!”

Adam heard the music start. He shut his eyes and failed to calm his heart, but dammit if he didn’t try. He counted the beats to the music, assumed Gansey and Blue were some ways down the aisle if not already in their places. Adam knew from the change in tempo and the new strings and pipes that joined the rest of the instruments that Ronan was about to make his way down the aisle with Matthew at his side. It took all of Adam’s self control to not peek. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and then he heard his cue.

“Ok. Ok,” Adam breathed to himself.

He walked with his head down and only lifted it when a trail of flower petals came into view at his feet. Adam felt all eyes on him, but he only had eyes for the man at the very end of the trail.

Ronan stood in a suit black as night, like the feathers of a raven. His hands were shoved into his pockets, his tie hung perfectly against his chest, and his eyes found Adam’s in seconds. The music picked up and Ronan straightened, but his face remained serious. His eyes gave him away to Adam- he looked, all at once, like he was seeing Adam for the very first time and like Adam was the only truth he’d ever known, the only forever that he’d ever been promised. Adam realized that his heart beat was normal again. Ronan was his resolve, his rock, the fire that lit him up and kept him burning when the wind threatened to make his flame a memory.

Ronan couldn’t stop himself from breaking out into a smile when Adam stopped across from him, eyes bright, hair already a little messed up from the breeze.

“Hey, Parrish.”

Ronan reached for Adam’s hands and Adam pressed his palms into Ronan’s.

“Hey, Ro.”

Every time Adam blinked to reveal those entrancing eyes of his, Ronan fell harder, faster. The nerves Ronan felt before settled when Adam’s hands found his. The priest from St. Agnes lead them through the ceremony and it felt like no time at all had passed when he told them it was time to read their vows. Golden hour was at its peak and the sun warmed their cheeks, painted them in gold while the breeze blew petals around their ankles. Ronan watched a petal float down between them and ease towards Adam, and he nodded at Adam to go first. Adam cleared his throat and hoped his voice wouldn’t shake as he pulled a folded piece of paper out of his jacket pocket.

“I’ve always felt very out of place. Aglionby wasn’t my natural habitat and neither was home. For a while, I felt like even with my closest friends wasn’t exactly where I belonged. You were always there, though,” Adam said, eyes locked on Ronan’s. “You’re the piece that was always missing. You found me when I was lost. You turned everything upside down, you kept me on the ground when I thought I was going to float away.”

Adam heard a sniff and from the corner of his eye, he caught Henry wiping at his nose.

“You made every place I didn’t belong feel like home. All I can promise is that I’ll try my hardest to do the same. To make you smile, to ease your pain, to keep you on the ground when you think you’re going to float away. You’ve always been there for me without question and I promise to be there for you just the same. No matter what. You are my safety, my warmth, and my home. I promise I’ll do my best to be the same for you.”

Adam squeezed Ronan’s hand as the father gestured to him.

“Hard act to follow,” Ronan said and earned a laugh from their guests.

“Parrish, when you first came around I was afraid you’d stolen my best friend. It didn’t take long to realize you’d actually stolen me.”

Adam’s breath left him in a soft gasp. He couldn’t believe the nerve of Ronan to say _hard act to follow_ and open up with a line like that. Even Gansey seemed to swoon.

“I think I stole you, too, and I don’t plan on letting go. I want every holiday, every lazy morning, every sleepless night, every stupid argument to be with you. I want every adventure and burned home cooked dinner that turns into pizza night, I want to look at you the way I’m looking at you now and know that no matter what, I’ll have you. And as long as you’re with me, I’ll be ok.

I love everything you are, everything you’ve ever been, and I’ll love everything you become. I’d do anything for you, Parrish. I’ll spend forever keeping that promise and it still won’t be enough.”

Something flickered in Ronan’s eyes and then he spoke again in a softer voice, like it was only meant for Adam.

_“Amica mea, quam tam multa sunt somnia magicae.”_

Adam felt dizzy. The words buried themselves in his heart, made him hold onto Ronan’s hand a little tighter like his weakened knees might give out. Ronan gave a soft smile that Adam returned. They were asked to present the rings so Matthew reached around Declan to hand them over. They were nearly identical to the one Ronan presented Adam with just months ago, but these, Adam took a moment to realize, each had a small black diamond in their centers.

They repeated the second set of vows as the lines were read to them and took turns slipping the rings into place. The wind blew more flower petals down, rose petals that were impossibly red and white ones that drifted down around them like snow.

“I pronounce you joined in holy matrimony. May your love last now and forever,” the priest said happily. “Adam and Ronan Lynch, you may kiss.”

Ronan let his hands fall away from Adam’s to cup either side of his neck. It felt like too long since Ronan last touched him there, but it hadn’t even been a day. Adam latched onto Ronan’s waist and Ronan leaned in, let his forehead rest on Adam’s.

“I couldn’t even come close to dreaming you,” Ronan said.

Adam kissed words he couldn’t say. He kissed forever onto Ronan’s lips, he kissed him like his heart might stop if he didn’t. Their guests cheered and Ronan broke the kiss to smile against Adam’s mouth, fingers still spread along either side of his neck.

Ronan felt Gansey’s hand clap against and squeeze his shoulder and saw Blue behind Adam, mirroring a gentler squeeze on Adam’s shoulder.

They kissed again and then once more before they turned hand in hand to stroll down the aisle together, petals kicked up around their shoes. They paused and let the group pass before they entered the reception area.

“I know it’s a little cheesy,” Ronan said.

Adam cocked his head in question and then the DJ’s voice called out over the speakers.

“Introducing Ronan and Adam Lynch!”

Adam grinned and led Ronan under the tent. Ronan embraced Adam from behind him, rested his chin on Adam’s shoulder. The music kicked in and their guests rose from their seats to congratulate the two young men.

Gansey watched them walk towards their designated table. He thought they looked like a picture of bliss, a perfect representation of young love that would remain strong and solid when it was no longer young. He caught Ronan’s eye and winked and Ronan winked back, curled tighter around Adam.

The night was a whirlwind. There was food and dancing and speeches. There was a gift table with a number of presents that didn’t match up to the number of guests in attendance. There were drinks and arguments that called for another round- Calla’s doing, of course. There was love in the air according to Henry and cheeks that ached from smiling too hard and too often, memories made and captured in photos Adam and Ronan would sort through eventually.

Adam and Ronan finished off a toast with Blue, her family, and Gansey when the DJ called for the two newlyweds to hit the floor for their first slow dance. They walked with linked elbows to the center and began their dance under orbs of light only a dreamer’s mind could create. Adam admired his dreamer, his brooding expression, the tight line of his lips. Adam would have thought something was wrong if he didn’t figure that Ronan was just focused on getting his steps right. Adam shut his eyes and tucked his cheek against Ronan’s shoulder, counted his steps in his head. 

When Adam looked up again, Ronan’s eyes reflected the golden light that shone from the little baubles that floated above them and Adam felt hypnotized. Ronan dipped his head to rest it against Adam’s and raised his eyebrows, snapping Adam out of his dream like state.

“Happy I didn’t mess up?”

“You could have fallen flat on your face and I’d still be over the moon.”

Ronan smiled and kissed Adam sweetly, lingered for a beat or two. As the song ended and blended into another tune, Gansey led Blue onto the floor, and Adam pictured the day he and Ronan switched places with the two of them. He said as much to Ronan and Ronan glanced over at the two of them, his Gansey and his Blue.

“If he makes Cheng his best man, I’ll kill him.”

Adam laughed into Ronan’s neck and shook his head. Ronan seemed to get more comfortable in his dancing shoes, found a rhythm to move his hips to when the song changed again and Adam stayed in his arms. When they pulled apart, Gansey immediately intercepted before they could sit down, insisted that they needed to take a group photo before the night was over.

Adam happily wrapped an arm around Ronan’s waist and tilted his face for Ronan to kiss him. Blue shoved at Ronan’s side, told him to stop being such a mush, and Ronan responded by nearly messing up her perfectly done hair. Gansey pulled Henry beside him and after a couple of minutes of arguing over how to pose and where to put arms and hands, they looked to the camera with bright smiles. Henry stepped away after a couple of photos while the other four stayed in place.

Ronan turned his head towards Blue and met her eyes with a frown.

“Noah should be here,” he said quietly.

“I know.”

Blue hugged Ronan around his side a little tighter for their next photo and when they broke away, it was to toast to their friend. Ronan led them with a short speech that brought Adam closer to his side, arm around Ronan’s waist and head against his shoulder as he watched and listened intently.

“I wish you were here,” Ronan said sadly, “We all do, but more than that, I hope you’re at peace now. We miss you, you little shit. You’ll always be a part of this.”

They knocked their glasses together and drank. Adam kissed the taste of alcohol off of Ronan’s lips, but his attention snapped to Blue when she nearly choked on her drink.

“Absolutely not. It looks exactly right, you’ll just ruin it,” she said, hand on Gansey’s pushing it away from her.

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

“You almost messed up my hair,” Blue argued.

“No, I didn’t.”

“You touched it.”

Ronan rolled his eyes are her tone. “Blue, nobody touched your hair,” he said.

“I felt it,” she said, confused. She put her hand above her head and imitated what she felt as she explained, “Like someone was petting-”

Blue cut off when she felt a chill. Not the bad kind, not at all. This was familiar, as much as the feeling of a hand against her hair was. She felt her eyes well up, but before she could say anything, a dream orb fell from the top of the tent directly onto Ronan’s head. Blue started to laugh as Ronan rubbed his head while he muttered an annoyed _what the fuck_ under his breath and Adam looked up in search of the source. Gansey stared at the floor where the lost light sat, still glowing, seemingly brighter than the ones that stayed in place. He crouched down to grab it and Blue stared at it in his hand.

“I think Noah says hello,” she said softly, head against Gansey’s arm. 

Ronan only nodded. He couldn’t manage much else. He held Adam a little tighter and Adam kissed his cheek, swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Let’s dance before he decides to knock down the rest of those,” Gansey said with a nod at the lights, a gentle attempt to bring the mood back up.

Blue yanked Adam’s hand and in return he pulled Ronan with him. Ronan snagged Henry on the way and the five of them found balance somewhere between completely rhythmless and surprisingly smooth. 

By the end of the night, Ronan’s tie hung off the back of his chair and Adam’s bowtie was shoved into his jacket pocket. Ronan’s sleeves were haphazardly pushed up, but the bottom of his shirt remained neatly tucked into place. They hung off each other constantly, kissed whenever they felt like, danced till their feet hurt. They split up just for a moment and Adam couldn’t help but stare as Ronan first posed for a photo with Gansey and his family and then for one with his own brothers.

Adam watched them happily, wistfully, though he wouldn’t admit it. He didn’t have to. Blue could see it- his eyes gave him away. Blue linked her arm through Adam’s to get his attention and he smiled at her.

“Would you like to dance, Mr. Lynch?”

“Can I lead since I didn’t with Ronan?”

Blue smiled. “Sure.”

They twirled around the dance floor and Blue nodded towards Ronan.

“He looks so happy tonight.”

“He does.”

“Looks good on him.”

“Hey, hey. That’s my husband.”

Adam grinned and Blue playfully shoved him. She settled back into place and jutted her chin up at Adam.

“Looks good on you, too.”

“Thank you, Blue.”

Adam looked up to find Ronan closing in.

“I’m going to need him back,” Ronan said.

“Possessive,” Blue said with one eyebrow raised.

“You have no idea,” Ronan shot back and Blue wrinkled her nose, gave Ronan a playfully annoyed smile as she walked away.

Adam watched Ronan’s stare drag from the floor to his hair, windswept out of place, but messy in a way only Adam could make look wedding appropriate. When their gazes locked, Adam smiled, stared back from under his lashes.

“Hey, stranger. Saw you looking at me before.”

“Mhm and you just had to come over here,” Adam said, voice low, the energy between them overcharged. “Plan on doing something about it?”

Ronan smirked. Adam could see the gears turning, the scheme and thrill in Ronan’s eyes.

“C’mon. It’s time to cut the cake.”

They walked arm in arm and stared at each other like they were the only ones in the room. Just as Ronan lifted a forkful to give to Adam, Adam swiped a finger through the creamy frosting and dabbed it onto Ronan’s nose. Adam laughed brightly and Ronan couldn’t help his smile even as he shook his head at Adam. His eyes flickered from Adam’s mouth to the cake and then back and Adam caught the look, wagged a finger at Ronan. 

“Don’t you dare.”

“C’mon,” Ronan laughed. “It’s only fair.”

“Gansey’s parents are here,” Adam said under his breath, hoping the music was loud enough to cover his voice.

“Maybe we’ll inspire them,” Ronan said with a wiggle of his brows.

“Ronan,” Adam scolded, but Ronan didn’t listen.

He smeared a few fingers full of frosting onto Adam’s jaw and another onto his lips and while wide eyes watched, kissed it off and licked the last bit of it off his own lips. Adam felt like his insides were molten liquid. He shook his head, but his smile gave him away.

“You asshole.”

Ronan kissed him again as a camera flashed to capture the moment. 

When the time for goodbyes rolled around, Adam and Ronan thanked everyone and hugged and kissed their guests goodbye. Blue and Gansey walked Gansey’s family to their car and Ronan left Adam to say goodbye to his brothers. Adam’s friends from school left with wishes to see him again soon and then Adam was alone. The lights Ronan had dreamt up glowed around the tent and flower petals blew in from the edge of the woods. Adam sighed and stared out at the stars. 

Ronan found him like that, arms crossed over his chest, back to Ronan. Ronan walked carefully over to him, but Adam heard. He didn’t move though, just waited to feel familiar arms around his waist and a warm body against his own.

“What are you thinking about?”

Adam shrugged. He was thinking about everything. Noah’s visit, how full his heart felt, every single perfect moment from a night that ended too soon. 

“You’re sad it’s over,” Ronan guessed.

Adam nodded. “I am. It was perfect, Ro. I wish it didn’t have to end so soon.”

“Was it perfect?”

“Absolutely.”

Ronan smiled into Adam’s neck. He nudged the collar of Adam’s shirt out of the way to press a kiss to the skin beneath it. Adam let his eyes flutter closed and laid his arms over Ronan’s.

“It doesn’t have to be over just yet.”

“How’s that?”

“Dance with me,” Ronan said.

“Oh, how corny is that,” Adam said with a smile, all the while settling himself in Ronan’s arms to do just that.

Ronan dropped his phone onto the closest table after he’d chosen a song to play. They moved comfortably and Adam couldn’t take his eyes off Ronan’s. He found himself overwhelmed and shut them tight, took a deep breath and pressed his forehead against Ronan’s. It hit him like a tidal wave, the sudden realization that the forever he’d always wanted was his to hold onto and never let go.

Behind his eyelids, Adam saw his life in flashes. He saw summer afternoons off work at Monmouth, nights squeezed into a booth at Nino’s. He saw stolen glances at Ronan, hands locked over the middle compartment in the BMW, the sun coming through the windows on mornings at the Barns. He saw the night he lost hearing in his left ear, he saw the scribbled note Ronan left with treatment for his hands. He saw the first kiss they ever shared and then the one that came directly after their I do’s. Ronan’s thumb underneath Adam’s eye snapped him out of the whirlwind of memories.

“Hey,” Ronan whispered. “What’s wrong?”

Adam blinked at him. Only then did he feel the wetness on his skin below Ronan’s thumb.

“Nothing, nothing,” Adam replied. “I’m alright, sorry, I just… I’m happy, they’re happy tears,” Adam explained.

Ronan searched Adam’s gaze for a moment. 

“I promise,” Adam added when Ronan remained unconvinced. 

Ronan nodded acceptance, kissed Adam’s head through his hair and Adam shut his eyes and sighed. The smell of roses and Ronan, autumn and wedding cake filled his nostrils and he committed it to memory as best he could.

“You know I was thinking earlier?”

“About?”

“This. Us and today. We’re still just kids, Ronan.”

“Parrish, if you’re about to give me shit after we’ve already-”

“I wasn’t. I was just gonna say it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh. Well good.”

“I think I sort of always knew this is where we’d end up,” Adam said and Ronan nodded.

“I think I knew early on,” Ronan admitted. “Not to pull the love at first sight card, but seriously, I think it was with you.” 

Adam smiled. Ronan dropped his hand lower on Adam’s back and guided him a little closer, spun them around.

“Shit,” Adam sighed. “I really don’t want this to end.”

“We’ll stay out here as long as you like.”

Gansey nearly interrupted the moment, but Blue caught him when a step forward into dry leaves nearly announced his presence.

“Hey,” Blue whispered. “Let’s get outta here.”

Gansey looked over at them, his two best friends. Gansey wasn’t sure if it was supposed to feel like a chapter closed on the three of them and opened to a new one with just the two. Part of him felt sad at the thought, but the other part saw nothing but exactly what was always supposed to happen.

“You ok?” Blue asked.

She knew Gansey all too well. He was ok, though. An image flashed in his head of himself, Adam, and Ronan in Latin together, another of them sat with their knees and elbows bumping against Gansey’s makeshift diagram of Henrietta. One more in the Pig with the windows down and Ronan’s horrible music choice blasting through the speakers. And then now.

“I’m alright. Just remembering.”

“Remembering what?”

“Nothing in particular.”

Blue gazed up at him with her shoes dangling by their straps from her fingers. Gansey looked over his shoulder at Ronan and Adam once more and led Blue away with a kiss on her forehead that they had to meet halfway for. 

Ronan and Adam stood outside a little longer. Adam kicked at some flower petals that lost their way and they floated over the ground.

“These will never die, will they?”

“How’d you know?” Ronan smiled.

Adam bent down to pick two up. A red and a white, and he carefully slid them into his jacket pocket for safekeeping. Adam would miss this day terribly, but he reminded himself that just because the guests left and the music stopped, it didn’t mean their night was over. Ronan crouched in front of Adam and Adam smiled as he climbed into place on Ronan’s back, arms hung over his shoulders. Once they got inside, Ronan stopped at the top of the steps.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Because I told you to.”

Adam huffed, but did as he was told. After Ronan twisted to make sure Adam obeyed, he moved towards their room.

“What’s going on?”

“Last minute thing, no big deal.”

“Well can I open my eyes then?”

Adam heard the doorknob click open and rested his chin on top of Ronan’s head as he waited. 

“Go ahead,” Ronan told him.

Adam swore his heart stuttered when he opened his eyes. Ronan would never cease to amaze and surprise him, that was for sure. Ronan insisted that Adam was the romantic between the two of them, but Ronan was the one who pulled out all the stops.

Petals identical to the ones that fell from the trees outside decorated the bed. A bottle of champagne and two empty glasses sat on the bedside table and lights strung around the walls added a little to the low light of the starry ceiling.

“When did you have time to do this?”

“I had some help,” Ronan admitted.

Adam slid carefully off his back and Ronan caught him by his wrist before he could separate himself entirely. Adam walked towards the bed and touched his fingers to the petals. They were like velvet. They reminded him of Ronan’s mouth, particularly after too much kissing.

Adam turned back to Ronan and leaned on him as he toed out of his shoes. Ronan curled forward and caught Adam in a warm, long kiss. The kind meant for rooms full of rose petals and champagne, one that wordlessly explained just how deep both Ronan’s and his own feelings ran. Adam’s hands drifted from Ronan’s neck to his chest and he carefully popped open the top button on Ronan’s shirt. Ronan nodded for Adam to keep going so he did. His fingers ghosted over Ronan’s chest and even through fabric, the sensation gave Ronan goosebumps. Adam pulled the lower part of Ronan’s shirt free from his dress pants and pushed the sleeves passed his shoulders and down his arms.

Ronan let the shirt fall to the floor. Adam opened his mouth to speak, but Ronan shook his head.

“I’ll have them pressed. I won’t let them get messed up, I promise.”

“Good,” Adam said. 

Ronan smiled as he pulled Adam in for a kiss with his hands on Adam’s neck, fingers lined up with Adam’s jaw. Ronan spun them around so he hit the bed first and Adam settled between Ronan’s legs. Ronan started at the bottom, unbuttoned Adam’s shirt carefully. Every time Ronan exposed another bit of skin, he kissed it. Adam stood with his hand on the back of Ronan’s head and he dug his fingers into Ronan’s neck with a hiss when Ronan dipped his tongue out to wet Adam’s stomach. Ronan smirked up at him and with another kiss, made his way up to the topmost button on Adam’s shirt. Adam shrugged out of it and shook his head at himself.

“I can’t,” he muttered. He ducked away from Ronan to pick up the shirts just as Ronan moved to kiss him and Ronan scowled. “They were expensive, I’m not leaving them on the floor,” Adam said

Ronan threw himself back on the bed and scrubbed his hand over his face, stuck somewhere between amused and frustrated and undoubtedly in love. He watched Adam hang up the clothes and sat up again when Adam returned to him, his gaze as soft as his heart.

“I’m sorry,” Adam breathed. “Where were we?”

Ronan gripped Adam’s hips and pulled him close. He mouthed at Adam’s skin, pressed his lips to the barely visible dusting of hair below Adam’s navel. Adam swallowed hard. None of this was new to either of them, but something felt different. There was an exploratory slowness to it, as if it was new, as if they’d never touched each other before tonight. Adam let his eyes flutter closed when he felt Ronan’s fingers move along the waist of his pants. He unbuttoned them and Adam leaned with his hands on Ronan’s shoulders to step out of the pants, too caught up now to hang them with the shirts.

Ronan reclined as Adam climbed onto the bed. Adam teased a kiss and drew away at the last minute just as their lips caught on one another. Ronan let his head fall back against the mattress and barely caught Adam’s smile before he pressed a kiss to Ronan’s stomach.

Where Adam was soft skin and slim at his middle, Ronan was hard lines that Adam followed with his lips. Adam let his gaze flicker up to Ronan’s and his eyes were hooded. They practically glowed in the low light of the room and Ronan’s stare alone called Adam back to him. Adam kissed his way up Ronan’s torso and propped himself up with his face directly over Ronan’s before he kissed him on the mouth.

It was rose petals in the wind brushing against each other and then it was losing control, being swept up in the storm. Ronan lifted his head off the bed to keep their mouths together, but Adam gently pushed him down, lowered himself so that he straddled Ronan’s hips.

When they kissed again, it was electric. It was stars burning and racing hearts, it was enough to make Adam dizzy. Ronan kissed Adam slowly, sweetly, like he was memorizing him all over again. Ronan knew every curve and dip and weak spot of Adam like he’d been born with the knowledge of it. He could never forget the slight cupid’s bow of Adam’s thin upper lip or the softness of his mouth.

When they came to a pause, they were both breathless. Adam rested his forehead on Ronan’s and Ronan put a finger to Adam’s lips, traced around and tipped his chin up. They kissed again and in a flash of laughter and flailing limbs, Adam was flat against the bed. Adam’s head rested on a flat pillow of rose petals and Ronan paused to take a mental picture. Adam’s lips were turned up in a smile, pinker than usual from too much kissing. His hair was a mess and petals seemed to form a halo around his head and Ronan could see the wilderness in his soul shining through clearly in Adam’s smile.

Adam reached up to cup Ronan’s cheek and Ronan turned into the touch, kissed Adam’s wrist, the lifeline on his palm, the creases of his fingers. Adam’s smiled slowly disappeared, but his expression remained soft, curious, awaiting.

Ronan sometimes wondered if life was playing a trick on him, if Adam really was the result of a dream. Ronan didn’t think his mind was capable of coming up with someone so perfect, but reality surely couldn’t have either.

“What are you thinking about?” Adam asked softly when Ronan stayed frozen with Adam’s hand against his cheek for too long.

“Nothing,” Ronan lied. “You, actually,” he corrected. 

“Instead of kissing me? Seems like a waste if you ask me.”

“I didn’t,” Ronan said as a sly smile tugged at his lips.

Adam smiled back and thumbed at Ronan’s lip. Ronan leaned down to kiss Adam, but not for long enough. Adam frowned at him and Ronan kissed him once more, brushed his lips against Adam’s jaw, his neck, dipped down to his shoulder. Adam shivered and Ronan took notice, let his tongue dip out to wet Adam’s skin. Under Ronan’s mouth, Adam’s body was land to be explored, a temple to be worshipped, and Ronan’s lips prayed for skin, for touch, for Adam.

Ronan made his way down Adam’s body and when he came back up, Adam pushed himself off the bed. Ronan kneeled above him and Adam stared up at Ronan as he undid his pants. Adam kissed Ronan’s stomach as he pulled the fabric down and Ronan carded through Adam’s hair, let his fingers drift towards Adam’s cheek and then to his chest to push him back down against the bed.

Ronan finished undressing and Adam dragged him back for a kiss. Adam’s heart spiked when he felt Ronan’s fingers on the waistband of his underwear and Ronan kissed a barely distinguishable I love you onto Adam’s mouth.

Adam nodded so their lips caught. They were skin on skin and nothing in between. Adam could barely tell if the pulse he felt against his wrist was his own or if it was Ronan’s where their arms pressed close. They blurred the lines between one body and the other, kissed breathless pleas off each other’s lips, memorized the sounds of their own names falling desperately from the other’s mouth.

They moved in synch. Two bodies became one and Ronan knotted his fingers with Adam’s, palms pressed tight. Adam squeezed Ronan’s hand when they slowed and Ronan kissed him, found Adam’s other hand and held it to his mouth for a moment before he slid his fingers between Adam’s and kept their hands locked above Adam’s head.

If they parted for too long, they fused together quickly. One heart beat for the other, their pulses quickened and slowed in time. They became nothing but each other, made up of shared breaths and skin stuck to skin. Ronan felt like Adam was a part of his blood and bone marrow, a key piece of his beating heart, the reason why he couldn’t think straight right now, his only thought _Adam, Adam, Adam_ over and over.

They took each other apart and buried themselves in the pieces of one another. Fingers slotted together, Adam’s mouth captured Ronan’s, hearts beat to the same hard rhythm. Adam touched familiar skin, committed to memory the pattern of Ronan’s vertebrae, the way he shivered when Adam kissed him high up on his neck, just below his ear. Adam watched Ronan throw his head back and his hands tightened on Adam’s hips, scorching hot, and Adam melted into his touch.

Adam came apart in Ronan’s arms, saw stars when he shut his eyes tight and nuzzled into Ronan’s neck. Ronan clung to Adam as they rode it out together and Adam caught Ronan’s heavy breaths on his lips, captured, let go, and recaptured Ronan’s mouth. 

Ronan let his head fall back against the headboard and Adam didn’t even have the energy to lift his head from Ronan’s shoulder. He gave himself a minute before he did and even then he took his time, mouthed at Ronan’s neck, nudged his nose against soft, sweaty skin.

After Adam adjusted in Ronan’s lap and finally met his eyes, Ronan let a breathless, tired giggle pass his lips. His smile was as lazy as before, maybe more so, and Adam would have kissed it away if the sound of that laugh didn’t melt his heart.

“What’s so funny?”

Ronan gestured with a nod and his lips pursed towards Adam. Adam raised his eyebrows and Ronan reached for his hair, twirled his finger through a strand first thing. When he drew his hand away, he held a rose petal in between the tips of his fingers. Adam’s cheeks flushed pink and Ronan kissed him sweetly, pulled another petal from the back of Adam’s head. How appropriate, Ronan thought, that petals should make themselves a part of Adam this way.

They kissed again, tired, languid, perfectly balanced between hungry and gentle. Adam drew away and kissed Ronan’s shoulder, his neck, twined their fingers together to kiss his hand.

“You know when you’re tired, but don’t want to go to sleep because when you do, it means the night is over?” Ronan said.

“Sure do, softy.”

Ronan frowned, but Adam kissed it away.

Ronan said, “I’m not soft,” when Adam drew back and Adam nudged his forehead against Ronan’s.

“Sure you’re not.”

Ronan caught Adam’s face between his hands and kissed him. They kissed till they couldn’t anymore, till sleep called them not long before the sun began to rise. Adam traced the shapes of constellations he’d memorized during late nights outside the Barns onto Ronan’s shoulder, fingers lazy and gentle. When Adam shifted to climb off Ronan, Ronan held onto him and groaned tiredly.

“Stay,” he said quietly.

Adam smiled though Ronan couldn’t see because he kept his eyes shut.

“Lie down,” Adam said. “You’re half asleep.”

Ronan nodded, too tired to argue. Adam got comfortable beside him and their legs overlapped. Ronan found Adam’s hand and linked their fingers together, managed to barely open his heavy lidded eyes. Adam met his gaze and Ronan found himself lost in Adam’s eyes, falling, drowning, sinking.

“I don’t think I deserve you, Adam Parrish.”

“Adam Parrish-Lynch,” Adam corrected. “And you’re wrong.”

Ronan shook his head and smiled sleepily at Adam. Adam tilted his chin up and Ronan accepted his cue and shifted to kiss Adam, let their lips linger without touching for a moment. Ronan guided Adam to get closer and Adam rested his head against Ronan’s bare chest, right above his heart. The pattern of Ronan’s breaths changed and slowed, let Adam know that he’d finally fallen asleep. Adam stayed awake a while longer and watched the sky lighten out the window, watched rose petals float by in a high wind that kicked them up from the ground.

Adam didn’t want to go to sleep, afraid to interrupt this waking dream. When he did, it wasn’t for long. The sun was higher in the sky when he opened his eyes again, just a couple of hours later. Ronan’s heartbeat ticked away underneath Adam’s cheek and the ring on Adam’s finger glinted in the glare of sunlight. When Adam shifted closer, Ronan’s arm tightened around his shoulder and Adam fell asleep easier this time knowing that this was a dream that- awake or asleep- would never come to an end.


End file.
